Thanks for sharing Macey. You sound a bit like me - I don't rush into things but I like to know all the options well in advance so that I can give them due consideration. Doing the research in itself doesn't constitute a commitment, but once I make an actual decision to do something (or not) then that's it, I'm in (or out) 100%.

I have made a few decisions for myself that may help... they seemed like concrete actions that would help me without burning any bridges.

First, therapy for sure. There's no rush with anything else.

Second, I am that "other woman" that Nadine talked about her story that she was still having to shave even after transition and living 100% got me thinking "omg that would suck so much", so I took her advice and started electrolysis. I can't imagine any possible future where I would utter the phrase "omg my life is ruined because i can't grow a beard any more" so there's no downside (other than sunk cost) even if I did wake up one day and decide this trans stuff was all a mistake. Electro hurts and it takes years, but I don't care because it makes me feel good that I'm doing *something* positive for myself.

> If I do 'dip my toe' ... it would be neck first … something I'd like cleared male or female.

That's exactly what I did. You want rid of it one way or the other so there's no downside. My chest hair came right up my neck so I started there. Nadine is right that I got a bit fixated and stayed on the chest for too long, but oh well it's done now, and I'm onto the face now finally. Next session this Saturday