Yes! If you dress fully and go out to a club there's bound to be a few women that will dance with you. As far as dating them, good luck. Didn't someone mention unicorns?
Yes! If you dress fully and go out to a club there's bound to be a few women that will dance with you. As far as dating them, good luck. Didn't someone mention unicorns?
"You're the only one to see the changes you take yourself through", Stevie Wonder
Maybe we are tending to lump all
women together. .
I have found levels of acceptance vary widely even within groups
It totally depends on the individual .
And your effort in getting to know the individual
To me the best relationships start with being friends
JAS
There is one called dateacrossdresser.com, but it's inhabited almost entirely by men. As all of the men list themselves as female, there's no way to search for GG women. And since you have to pay to send a message, they have shills or bots that send out random messages, enticing you to get a paid membership, at which point the 'women' that initially sent me a message either say they never sent it, or simply never respond back at all. The very few women that I searched out (there is probably only one GG per thousand crossdressers who list themselves as females) never even respond to my messages. At least that was my experience. So if you have any bi or gay tendencies, that would be a good site for you if you want to date men.Originally Posted by ClosetED
Some causes of crossdressing you've probably never even considered: My TG biography at:http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...=1#post1490560
There's an addendum at post # 82 on that thread, too. It's about a ten minute read.
Why don't we understand our desire to dress, behave and feel like a girl? Because from childhood, boys are told that the worst possible thing we can be, is a sissy. This feeling is so ingrained into our psyche, that we will suppress any thoughts that connect us to being or wanting to be feminine, even to the point of creating separate personalities to assign those female feelings into.
Hi Nylon45,
If you find a woman who wants to get to know the person before making a decision on the CDing, it would be beneficial. My opinion is the behavior of someone is more important than clothes. Common interests, chemistry, and attraction to each other, would be ideal. If a CDer becomes self involved when dressed or wants conversations to center around dressing (not just random conversations but I mean excessive conversations) then it become more than casual dressing. (Only you know where you are on the CD spectrum). If a CDer indicates dressing is more important than a relationship, it would be a turn off to many women. This goes both ways. If a woman is self involved and wants the focus on her, that would most likely be a turn off to most men.
Just an example of being excessive; my husband's social group had a CDer who said the same thing as you. She wanted a girlfriend but no one - not even the other CDers liked to be around her. She was constantly looking in the mirror (or for a mirror), asking anyone within hearing distance to take pictures of her (without reciprocating), and all conversation HAD to revolve around her or she wasn't interested in talking. She even cornered me while I was working a table at a Pride event and wanted me to stop what I was doing and take her picture(s). Excessive!
Obviously you should not hide but be up front about your interests, - but most likely, you have other interests than just hosiery and heels. Don't give up, the ladies are out there. If you are only searching on line, you may want to try to meet people in person.
Last edited by char GG; 05-17-2019 at 11:47 AM.
I fail to see what you are disqualifying. When I wrote 'accepting', I meant accepting within their own relationship - also derivable from context. Then you likened that unto accepting of gay men
, which, obviously, would not be accepted within their own relationship. A totally unequal comparison. I stand by what I wrote, the way I wrote it.
- Lydianne.
I guess the simple answer is yes.
My life is just so surreal sometimes, and I just can't handle it. About three years ago a friend of mine hit on me. I just wasn't ready, I had only been separated from my wife for a short time. That and she has enough drama in her life. Yes we are still friends and yes I could still date her, but I still think I made the right decision for everyone.
A year ago last New Year’s I was dating a women and she asked me to marry her. It didn’t work.
No worries I have a boyfriend.
So the real question is how do you get someone to look past the packaging and see the person within?
Then you have to be ready for what follows, a relationship.
There are two women in my life who don't care (but my children's mother went berserk, so my record is patchy). Last week, my fiancée helped me buy makeup, a couple of skirts and a blouse. And she told me I was courageous when I wore one of them on the street. There is another woman who would love to be my girlfriend because I think she finds me much more interesting and full of life than most men around her age (I'm 56; she's about 49). The cross dressing she just sees as another facet of my "all man" personality. And let's be honest, cross dressing is for many of us, certainly for me, a man thing. We don't want to be women, we just love dressing up from time to time. So yes, I think there do exist women smart enough to understand it or at least open minded enough to accept it. But they have to find you attractive as a man. Don't forget that.
You know what's kinda "funny"?
There are some GG's out there who like to claim that they have no issue with their husband who, say, 25 years into their marriage, finally gets caught CD'ing... That's it's not the CD'ing, itself, that they have a problem with -- but the sneaking around, this new lack of trust, etc. You know, the usual spiel.
Of course, that's said *after* the fact, after 25 years or whatever of building a life together, which otherwise has probably been pretty darn good, overall.
But $20 says that had the guy instead disclosed his CD'ing, upfront? He probably wouldn't have gotten a 2nd date with this same woman.
Hmmm...
I think we could all agree that CDing is a strike against any potential mate for most women. All my life I only had one GF that was really into it. She was also bi and liked gay men.
"You're the only one to see the changes you take yourself through", Stevie Wonder
I have to say I agree with this and even wonder about it in my own situation.
Crissy
Wife knew about my pantyhose fetish when we married. She has fully accepted my other side, and encourages my dressing up. For now, it stays in the house. But we have talked about going to one of the TG conferences, and dressing up in another place. We have talked about gender and sexuality a lot and both realize there is a huge non binary spectrum, and society has forced upon us a very narrow view.
But she is concerned with preserving our privacy and how society views my cding.
You do know that there are more options than “first date” or “never” right? How’s about you wait until the relationship starts getting serious? That seems the optimal time for me. But I’m sure it’s just the women doing everything wrong.You know what's kinda "funny"?
There are some GG's out there who like to claim that they have no issue with their husband who, say, 25 years into their marriage, finally gets caught CD'ing... That's it's not the CD'ing, itself, that they have a problem with -- but the sneaking around, this new lack of trust, etc. You know, the usual spiel.
Of course, that's said *after* the fact, after 25 years or whatever of building a life together, which otherwise has probably been pretty darn good, overall.
But $20 says that had the guy instead disclosed his CD'ing, upfront? He probably wouldn't have gotten a 2nd date with this same woman.
Hmmm...
I met my now wife when i was in girl mode. We've been married for going on 5 years.
My girlfriend support me. the girlfriends i had before, only 3 knows i crossdress, and only one didn´t like it (the others 2 was very supportive, buying clothes, do my make up, dress me, etc). i only told them after they live with me.
So, it's always the *men* doing something wrong, eh? Or is it that only men can be sexist?
Besides, I never said it was anyone's "fault." Maybe the GG would be actually be fine with it earlier on & I just lost $20 -- or not. Don't you agree that sometimes some people say one thing, but when it comes down to it, they actually end up doing another? This happens all over the place, all the time, regardless of what "it" is.
Part of this is that people (including yours truly) oftentimes don't give other people a fair shake. All these GG's who are initially turned off by it early on, not even giving the guy a chance because of it? Well, they could have possibly passed up on an awesome life-long relationship. Because of what, exactly, again?
And some wonder why the guy doesn't spill the beans, either earlier on, or even never? Because they already *know* how many GG's already truly feel about it, quite possibly via personal past experience.
Anyway, please don't take what I said so literally. No, of course disclosure doesn't have to come on a first date (or even before that). But even further along, take your pick... 3 months, 6 months, a year? Before getting engaged? While odds are, the GG would likely be "more okay" with it, since she's been able to "see" a lot more of her mate & the good qualities he has, there's still a decent chance that she may still bolt, either immediately, or a bit later on (perhaps using something else as an excuse)... Could be the sole reason, or just the straw that broke the camel's back (or anywhere in-between).
CD'ers in this situation tend to be fully aware of this risk, as well. They realize they may have a pretty good thing going, and really don't want to screw it up (in *any* kind of way). Only natural, and certainly understandable. Besides, maybe their urge to dress has simply waned during this time, and they think it's now gone away for good -- only for it to eventually resurface, years down the road. Heck, I've gone long stretches without it... Longest was something like 4 or 5 years? And that's nothing... There are others who have gone 10 years, or even 20 years!
And suppose a CD'er in this scenario meets someone during this time? What then? "Honey, I *used* to crossdress, but I haven't done so in years. I think I may have finally licked it. But, I suppose it could suddenly pop up at anytime somewhere down the road. I really have no idea. And who knows how intense it may get, and where it may lead. There was even a time where I felt I might want to get a sex change, but I'm over that now... I think? Not gonna lie, the future can be pretty uncertain with all this sometimes, from what I understand. So... Do you want to see the 9:15 show tonight, or try to make the 8:40 one?"
Oh, and another thing: Some GG's who finally catch their CD'ing hubby, say, 25 years into the marriage? "He deceived me for 25 years! Broke our trust!!"
Take that same CD'er, but he disclosed it much earlier on in the relationship? Decent chance of, you guessed it: "He deceived me for over a year! Broke our trust!!"
Get what I'm saying?
Seriously, it doesn't really matter. If a GG ain't totally cool with it, she ain't totally cool with it.
And I don't particularly blame them. Because to be honest? I'm personally not attracted to masculine women. So, it works both ways. I get it.
And I suppose I may be even more open to this, than others. GF wants to get completely "dolled up" as a dude for Halloween? Sure, go for it. *Every* Halloween? Sure, whatever. Cosplay/crossplay conventions? I don't care, sounds like fun. Even some sort of psychological/social experiment, where she goes out to a club or something presenting as a guy... Just to see what it's like? Have at it.
"Wait- Just realized that you've been doing this all day, *every* day, for the past 8 months? Now you're seriously contemplating taking testosterone & transitioning? Are you sure you really want to do this? Well, if that's what you really need, I'm out. Not for me. Good luck with all that. Maybe we can still be friends?"
Everyone has some sort of limit. And everyone has that right & prerogative.
Anyway, of course there will always be exceptions, or even a small minority, when it comes to GG's & what they say (and actually do!) re: CD'ing.
But when we're talking about a large percentage of GG's? Oh, they may be completely cool with it, and even absolutely *love* it -- as long as it's a friend of a friend, or a someone at a club, or an entertainer on YouTube/TV, or something, that is. Their own hubby/BF, or potential mate? Yeah, odds are, a different story. Everything else being equal? They'll go for the non-CD'er, thanks.
Oh, and keep it mind: Just because a wife or GF is very cool & supportive with it all now, and has been for a few years? That can potentially change someday, too.
I’ve definitely seen the whole spectrum.
Ex wife was hardly tolerant and did not want to see it at home. Former girlfriend was bi and was turned on equally by me in both male and female modes. Current wife extremely accepting and when we go out dressed up, she introduces me as her wife.
As I’ve said multiple times before (and for me post divorce), honesty and world class communication is the key... once you find an open minded significant other. Life is too short to keep all of this hidden or suppressed.
Last edited by Lux; 05-19-2019 at 10:39 AM. Reason: Syntax
I guess women who would like to have crossdresser as her life partner or at least get turned on by that are very rare. As much as I heard from women I know, usually women are tolerant about crossdressing or just don't care about it in general, but certainly don't want their men to crossdress, especially not on daily basis in public. At least I never met a woman who would like to be with a men who crossdress or even wear female lingerie under their male clothes.
I think age might play a part in finding someone. Most on this site are older and tend to meet someone the same age. This means not finding someone with a more accepting frame of mind.
If one is younger, you have to go to where the women are, artsy type places could be good. Where women who would find you interesting would be at.
When I was younger I had mo problems meeting girls, but I wasn't into them sexually. They didn't know that at the time. But they wanted to be with me, they didn't run away in fear of who I was.
This forum has a section for gg's so they must exist.
"Walking across the thin ice of my dreams, Fearing the cold waters of reality beneath me. Yet onward I tred."
Ellbee, most relationships have a natural flow. Crossdressing isn’t so different from any other embarrassing secret that one would normally keep from a date until you know them better. And yes, waiting for the right moment to reveal something like this absolutely increases the chance of the person being accepting. Blurting out “I caught crabs once!” On a first (or early) date is a great way to send them running for the hills. Mentioning it when you’re having a discussion about sexual histories further into the relationship is far less likely to inspire a negative reaction. If you’re not revealing your secret in a tactful way, then you can’t really expect a positive reaction.
Sure, there are. I have been in relationships with several.
However; I think there are several factors involved. The most important is your social circle.
What I mean is this; In my young drab life I was ( well, still am in the reserves) a Soldier. Don't get me wrong, I wasn't Rambo or an operator. However; I was in SOCOM. And that SOCOM patch got me lots of drinks and lots of attention from women. Let's look at that. Those women were looking for a macho guy. Do you think they would be interested in a CD or TG? Very unlikely, but possible statistically.
When I got out of active duty I went into law enforcement. Women love uniforms. Now women that date cops are a whole nother story. Some are just "crazy" enough to love dating a cd. I know a couple of dom/sub couples that fit this question. Still....most women in that social circle probably are not the sort date CDs
College, and an Engineering degree...and you bet a few more show up in our social circle.
The huge take away is that most women you meet are going to be initially interested in you through your social circle and/or who you present yourself to be. What your "uniform" was when they met you. Older women are more likely to be interested than younger women seeking a bad boy to start a family with; so to speak.
My bff is a lesbian that I deployed with many years ago. Her and her wife have set me up many times. As in all dating sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't. However; in that social circle and that world where the women are informed as to who and what I am, who many times have known me for years, in some cases, it is not that hard to get a date. Mind you that these are not lesbians. Just that the Lesbians I know are part of...the diversity culture...I guess you could call it. I've dated bi women; "loose" women; dominate woman; curious women; women who just want to try something different. Heck I have even dated a woman who was a saleswoman at Lane Bryants who was just fascinated by the whole "transformation" thing.
I also think it is a product of who you are inside. I identify as a woman, most of my circle of friends identify me as a woman, and I can't tell you how many times I've been told I "think like a woman" by woman. That includes in drab life when I have worked with a woman long enough that they get passed the masque. I think, and it's just my opinion, that the subset of women that enjoy dating people like me, like feminine women,and not necessarily "men in a dress".
That might be the critical difference. If you are a woman that likes men, you might have trouble getting passed the lingerie. If you are a woman who likes to occasionally play with women, or who want to feminize a guy, then they might have trouble getting past the guy who just keeps acting like a guy even when dressed up. Most sex occurs in the mind. Well...lets leave that there.
Hope this helps.
Well, my wife new about it long before we got married and is 100% ok with it and I get hit on all the time by women when cross dressed so I think it's a matter of attitude and how they perceive you. I cant believe how much female attention I get since I've been out.
From reading up on this, it seems to me that a lot of women are ok with it as long as its not their husband/boyfriend/son etc.
Some people know about me, and the reactions vary but only one has been supportive and told me to be myself.
I tend to meet quite some beautiful mostly very young women who start chatting with me when out and about. The give me very many and nice compliments. However it is a very different story when it comes to love and intimate relationships. I think there are women who are actually attracted to crossdressers, but the number is very small. Try to make a good friendship first and see if and how it could develop.
I know many women that like CD's that are attractive when dressed and they love pretty transsexuals but that's it.they don't like the no shaving masculine burly transvestites .
[SIZE=1]- - - Updated - - -[/SIZE]
I know many women that like CD's that are attractive when dressed and they love pretty transsexuals but that's it.they don't like the no shaving masculine burly transvestites .
Men like attractive women.
Women like wealthy men.
Carry lots of money in your purse. Tip generously to impress her.
Get your man friends to pretend they work for you at your impressive office downtown.
Posting Permissions
.gif "Big Roll Eyes")
