How am I meant to resolve a relationship matter. I’ve changed massively in the last 5 years...

So it went something like this.

Me: we have to work on change in our relationship and acceptance. Not asking for understanding but support even from a distance

Wife: why should I have to change. I’m not the one who’s changed. Why should “i” have to change.

She’s right but I don’t know how to explain why she should at least try to change. It keeps going back to “BUT WHY”

HELP!?