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Thread: You never know when a new door will open.

  1. #1
    Member JoanneNY's Avatar
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    You never know when a new door will open.

    Last Friday was my late wife's B'day, As I do each year, I visit her place with some flowers and spend a quiet moment. This year I chose to go fully dressed, I felt the time has come to do so and felt a wonderful calm afterwards. Returning home I stood at my front door, key in hand when one of my neighbors came up the walk to tell me he sold his home and was about to move, etc... As I stood there he looked me over and said"Holly S**T", "How do you like my new look? I said. I have been a Crossdresser and have now come out of my closet." He smiled and admitted that he underdresses as well. You just don't know until it happens !

    Joanne
    Last edited by JoanneNY; 11-23-2020 at 11:42 AM. Reason: sp.

  2. #2
    Platinum Member Teresa's Avatar
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    Joanne,
    I may sound like an old record player but I've been commenting for sometime that we aren't the only ones that dress , we never know what goes on behind your neighbour's front door !

    It's a nice thought to take some flowers to share that moment with your late wife .
    The real me , no going back.

  3. #3
    Gold Member Crissy 107's Avatar
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    Joanne, What a wonderful story, I absolutely love it! I am so happy for you!
    As for your neighbor, hey, you just never know. There are more of us around then one thinks.
    Crissy

  4. #4
    Junior Member Jacke's Avatar
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    Joanne, Flowers are a nice touch. Glad you were able to own the situation with the neighbor. Your openness likely made a great impact on him. The first time talking out loud about dressing opens a multitude of life's doors. Glad you could help him.

  5. #5
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    Wow, thats quite a coincidence. I am glad it all went so well.

  6. #6
    Weirdest woman ever! docrobbysherry's Avatar
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    I don't know. From my experience, people seeing u dressed can elicit loose tongues.

    But, not all of it will be empathetic and encouraging!
    U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.

    Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!

  7. #7
    Member Star01's Avatar
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    I don't know how long it's been but I"m sorry about your wife, it sounds like you miss her and had a good relationship.

    I would guess that for every member of forums like this one there are probably hundreds of others who do not reach out to things like forums and support groups. I was reading somewhere that up to 3% have crossdressed at some point in their lives. With an estimated 328 million in the US that would amount to 948,000 just in the US. That is a pretty big number and I'm sure much greater than the number of members on here.

  8. #8
    Senior Member NancySue's Avatar
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    You are so right. One never knows. I absolutely believe there are more males out there that both underdress and dress than we ever guessed or are represented in statistics. Teresa is totally right. We use the term, under ones roof. I?m a good example.

  9. #9
    Senior Member Pumped's Avatar
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    My wife was concerned about people finding out about my dressing. I went on to ask her how many of our neighbors do worse? How many abuse family members, how many are alcoholics, how many are into S&M? Crossdressing is pretty mild in comparison.

    I also have seen estimates of crossdressers in the USA, but the numbers I have seen were closer to 10%. I work with over twenty guys and wonder who is the other CD'er!

  10. #10
    Member JoanneNY's Avatar
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    Thanks to everyone for your support re: my opening post. While I mentioned my visit to my wife's grave the main point I wanted to raise was the way my meeting with the neighbor not only caused me to be positive, own the conversation, and just tell him my story. His admission of his dressing was icing on the cake. Years ago I took a Dale Carnegie Sales course that taught when you are faced with a difficult sell, to suck it up, stay positive and convince the customer that you are right. It worked this time.
    Star; It has been thirteen years, we were totally DADT, while I now enjoy total freedom to dress, Living alone SUCKS !
    Teresa and NancySue; We just don't have an idea of who and where others that crossdress are, I posted this as one positive outcome to a chance meeting.

    Joanne

  11. #11
    Gold Member Crissy 107's Avatar
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    Joanne, Your story is such a positive post and it shows how to own it with your neighbor and how that worked out all in the same day. Good for you!
    I have a feeling your wife is smiling today
    Crissy

  12. #12
    Aspiring Member GretchenM's Avatar
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    I am with Nancy on the matter of statistics regarding how many of us there are. I doubt the statistics are any more than an approximation of how many are out enough to be apparent. It can't possibly include the secret keepers with any kind of accuracy. Those who do this kind of study admit that the results are very rough and many apply a whole bunch of different techniques to try and get a better picture. The fact is when doing these studies a large percentage of respondents do not tell the truth because of our pervasive social belief that crossdressing is wrong and people who do so are committing something close to a sin against Nature. Unfortunately, for many it is Natural to do at least some of this type of expression - both males and females. The fact is our brains are configured that way. So, as others say, be yourself with confidence, be respectful of social standards (dress to blend as Char said), and realize there are jerks out there no matter what you do. Even pink or purple men's shirts will get stares and comments from some who just can't stand anybody wearing something that is outside the observer's narrow sense of what is appropriate. Ignore them.

  13. #13
    Exploring NEPA now Cheryl T's Avatar
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    My wife once said "what if someone we know is at the crossdressers meeting".
    What if? Will they run to friends and say "guess who I saw at the crossd....oops." Don't think so.

    But we do all love to share if we find out that someone is like us. It's just natural. We hide, but long to have a comrade.

    Good for you. Who knows, maybe you just gained a dressing friend.
    Wear what makes you feel Confident !

  14. #14
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    Today during a discussion/argument about Cross dressing I thought many men do and have done this at some time in life. What is the most recent and reliable source for information on this topic. Thanks, Suzi

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    Hi Joanne, I didn't expect that positive ending. I enjoyed this story

  16. #16
    Gold Member alwayshave's Avatar
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    Joanne, that's a story with a nice ending.
    Please call me Jamie, I always_have crossdressed, I always will, "alwayshave".

  17. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pumped View Post
    My wife was concerned about people finding out about my dressing. I went on to ask her how many of our neighbors do worse? How many abuse family members, how many are alcoholics, how many are into S&M? Crossdressing is pretty mild in comparison.
    I've mentioned many times on this forum it seems it is more acceptable for a woman to endure a bad marriage married to a knuckle dragging big oaf who dominates and treats his wife like "chattel." That's a observation my wife has made many times. That is a term she uses to describe how many men treat their wives. Yes, it is a lot of "What will the neighbors think?" "What's wrong with her! She's married to a cross dresser. Why doesn't see divorce him?"

    Willie, I hope your next neighbors are as accepting and non judgmental.

  18. #18
    Oh to be an English Rose Jane G's Avatar
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    What ever the statistics or the connotation's, that was simply a good post to read.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Cheryl T View Post
    My wife once said "what if someone we know is at the crossdressers meeting".
    What if? Will they run to friends and say "guess who I saw at the crossd....oops." Don't think so.

    But we do all love to share if we find out that someone is like us. It's just natural. We hide, but long to have a comrade.

    Good for you. Who knows, maybe you just gained a dressing friend.
    My wife said the same thing when I mentioned going to a nude beach.... I said, well, I guess they would be naked too. Point is, either they will be fully into crossdressing (to one degree or another) or curious / interested. In any case, it would be nice to same someone to talk with who may understand.

  20. #20
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    I've run across obvious or suspected crossdressers out in public several times in the last few decades. I try not to be too obvious, but I do tend to stare a bit, just to digest what I'm seeing. A couple of times the person has been aware of my noticing and seemed to be uncomfortable. There really is no way for them to be aware that I'm more of an ally than a detractor. I'm sympathetic to their feelings and hope that they don't feel judged by me.
    Last edited by Bea_; 11-28-2020 at 08:38 PM.

  21. #21
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    Quote Originally Posted by Star01 View Post
    I don't know how long it's been but I"m sorry about your wife, it sounds like you miss her and had a good relationship.

    I would guess that for every member of forums like this one there are probably hundreds of others who do not reach out to things like forums and support groups. I was reading somewhere that up to 3% have crossdressed at some point in their lives. With an estimated 328 million in the US that would amount to 948,000 just in the US. That is a pretty big number and I'm sure much greater than the number of members on here.
    Hi Star, bigger than even you think 3% of 328 million is 9.84 million! - thats bigger than population of a lot of countries!

  22. #22
    Member JoanneNY's Avatar
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    Dear lovestruck, Jamie (alwayshave), and JaneG, I thank you for getting the message I tried to pass along about the total feel good that came to me, and was the reason for my post. The responses that came about the statistical chances and the percentage of unknown crossdressers out there were interesting but I felt they missed the message that I wanted to send.... I came out to a neighbor and he came out to me... I'll let the wise ones among us to figure out the odds of that happening, to me, it was just COOL !! Joanne

  23. #23
    Member April Rose's Avatar
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    The only down side of this is; now that you are both out to each other, the neighbor is moving away! I suppose if he wasn't moving your meeting never would have happened. Still, how cool would it be to have a cross dressing neighbor you could socialize with.
    I am a vessel of the goddess. Let me express my calling to a feminine life through nurturing love and relatedness.

  24. #24
    Member JoanneNY's Avatar
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    April Rose, The neighbor is only moving about six miles away, time will tell.....

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