I don't know how long it's been but I"m sorry about your wife, it sounds like you miss her and had a good relationship.
I would guess that for every member of forums like this one there are probably hundreds of others who do not reach out to things like forums and support groups. I was reading somewhere that up to 3% have crossdressed at some point in their lives. With an estimated 328 million in the US that would amount to 948,000 just in the US. That is a pretty big number and I'm sure much greater than the number of members on here.
