Wife Is Facing a Mastectomy...Relationship Advice Needed

[ReineD]

So again, Reine, thank you so much for your insight and wisdom to help us make some sense of our current situation as we navigate through it...and also for showing that you truly care, even if we are only "virtual" friends within the context of this Forum.

We go back a long ways, you and I. I do very much care and I'm so glad that you are feeling better than you were when you first posted.

The sun keeps on shining and soon it will be Spring

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... several observed that breasts were a female identification landmark for them, and some were women past their fifties or sixties. So my lasting impression was that losing one would be lived as a very painful experience.

Losing any body part is of course a painful experience but my point rather was for an older woman, given the choice of losing a breast or a limb, what would your friends choose. Learning to go through my senior years without an arm, leg, or eyesight would be exceedingly difficult. But a breast? Meh! I could still do anything I am used to doing.

As to identity, I consider all my body parts equal in that I am the sum of all my parts, plus my mind and my inner self. My breast doesn't identify me as "me" more than any other part of me. But if I were faced with cancer and in a pretend-world was given a choice, I consider it is much easier to live without a breast (especially past a certain age), than it would be without a limb, eyesight, or God-forbid, the loss of my mind i.e. in the case of Alzheimer's.

But, this is rather macabre and really, I only mentioned it above to help put it in perspective.