How can I dress for 40 years, and study gender and read and research and basically live online as a girl and live almost full time on the weekends for ever, and never once experience dysphoria or worry about my identity, carefully scrutinize and watch myself, search internally for any dysphoria and not find it...
and then suddenly have that stupid app trigger me so hard that a lifetime of despair crushes me to the ground sobbing I am basically in the yellow pages trying not to lose another moment?
