Well, I hope this is the right place to post. Gosh I am so scared of making a mistake and getting jumped on, but I can't see any other place. Anyway...
I have been married 30 yrs, to my wife. She knew about my tendencies when we married, and knew I would try to keep them under control, which I mostly did until about 5 yrs. ago. At that time her and the kids (now ages 13 and 18) were in another country waiting on me to get a job ( I am a US citizen by the way, she is not, though she has lived her mostly since we were orignally married). While I was on my own, I joined a CD group, got really into it ans started going out dressed. I wanted to tell her but not til we saw each other as the phone is not the place to discuss imo. When I told her, she almost divorced me. It hasn't been 5 yrs. of hell, but lots of rude innuendo (but not all the time), sarcastic remarks, etc. I am currently going out approx. 2-3 times a month, which she says is too much. Our relationship was somewhat strained, anyway, before she found out about this, and frankly there is some love left, i guess, but not much. She has refused all attempts at counseling, literature, or even discussing it other than as it applies to our current and future relationship. Further, I find myself so drawn now ( feel like I am sorta between CDer and TS) to Cding or whatever, that it is affecting my job, my stress level and depressing me. I know I will want more, and she says she would refuse to go any further. I am at a crossroads now. I am debating whether to go ahead and cut the cords, knowing that if I don't it will just cause worse problems later on, or just stick it out until she has had enough.
What I would like to know is about other persons experiences with an unsupportive wife, when they hadn't already made the decision to "go all the way" but knew you wanted more. Did you move out? If so how did that work for you? What issues did you face, etc? Thanks so much for you help.
