I have always wanted to live as a female. I have felt so since the age of 6 or so.
I have always wanted to live as a female. I have felt so since the age of 6 or so.
Fulfilling a Lifetime Dream of Living as a Woman in My Adult Years.Ten Years Living 24/7 as a Mature Lady
My Love of Cat's Eye Frames, Bangles, Red Lipstick, Nails, & Cheeks, Comes From My Mother - An Irish Beauty
I'm Always Rainbow Proud
DES Connection to CD?
The fascination and desire to CD always seemed like something I was born with. As early as I can remember I knew there was this forbidden activity that I would someday embrace. I always assumed it was genetic, after this thread I begin to wonder.
The possible pre-natal DES connection with CD’ing is very interesting and thanks to Paula for bringing it up as I had never run across it. I don’t know if my mother took DES or not (if she were still alive I would be compelled to ask her). She was the kind of person that was fond of pharmaceutical solutions for almost anything and the time frame of my birth (1949) is consistent of when DES was being promoted by physicians so I now suspect that she may have taken it. I think the truth is destined to remain a mystery in my case.
As I read the various medical reports about the known and likely medical side effects on males of pre-natal DES by the mother I find that I have experienced at least 50% of the serious side effects in my lifetime. And that is not even including the possible connection with CD’ing or transgender tendencies.
Very interesting and thanks again Paula for bringing it up.
Hugs,
Stephanie
"Security is mostly a superstition. It does not exist in nature, nor do the children of men as a whole experience it. Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure. Life is either a daring adventure or nothing." Helen Keller (The Open Door)
"I give her my heart but she wanted my soul...But don't think twice, it's all right" Bob Dylan (1963)
I'm not really certain. I grew up doing a lot of manly, macho things, and have always had very masculine interests, like sports, cars, horror movies and such. But right around the age of twelve, I became simply fascinated with girl's clothes, and wanting to wear them. And then came makeup, and I was hooked.
I've only had one girlfriend that knew of this (the ex-wife didn't wish to know or hear of it), and that was in my teens. She was fairly supportive, loaning me bras and helping me dress at her house. I lost my virginity to her when we were both fifteen, following a session of dressing and makeup, yet, for all of the sexual connections I could make to it, it just seemed like a natural thing to do was dress in girl's clothing.
It simply came over me in a wave at that age, and has stayed with me. Some guys play fantasy sports, I play fantasy shopping. I truly wish I knew what sparked this.
I wanted to be a girl from a very early age. I developed a fascination with my Mothers stockings and later her tights. I tried a dress on at the age of six and attempted to put a pair of stockings on. I was very envious of the girls in my school when they started to wear nylon tights. I eventually tried on a pair of my Mothers tights at the age of twelve and have never looked back. Like a lot of people who have worn tights for the first time as a young child I could not believe how good my legs looked in tights. I have loved tights and dresses and skirts and shoes ever since.
I agree, we are just wired as we're wired. That said, I do think certain influences "help" us along our path. In my case it was early and frequent exposure to a close family member's beauty salon. I would read her magazines and admire the gorgeous hairstyles in them. To this day, nice hair is my favorite aspect of CD'ing. Alas, the bane of my existence: I'm mostly bald. :brolleyes: I'm looking forward to getting my first wig. I've always had a femme side fairly close the surface. I remain happily heterosexual, but no longer feel the need to suppress what comes naturally.
My mother did sewing and alterations for added income. Around age 12 she started using me as the dress form for skirts and dresses in my size range.
I really started getting into it which didn't go unnoticed and was eventually replaced by a dress form she got at a thrift shop. But by then the seed had been planted and I kept secretly dressing.
Reine said: "This is interesting. Dressing like a girl gave you permission to experience feelings that you did not think was OK for men to feel. Maybe this is what is different about some men who end up CDing .. they have a rather rigid, unforgiving view of what men must feel, so they construct a different persona in order to feel the full breadth of human emotion? I think it's OK for men to not feel macho. "
Once again your insight express how I feel about being dressed. I was raised on a farm and worked outside with my father from a very early age. He did a good job to teaching me how to be a man. However I was always jealous of my sisters that got to help Mom in the house and wear such pretty things. As an adult I found that "being Macho" had its rewards but can be very tiring. When I am dressed I give myself permission to relax and not be manly. I can express emotions and feel very comfortable performing what I was taught to be very feminine roles. It gives me a break from my standard role in life. Over the years I have been able to incorporate these new emotions into my male persona and my wife feels that this has made me a more complete person.
Somtimes the light's all shining on me, Other times I can barely see.
Lately it's occured to me.....What a long strange trip it has been.
Truckin by the Grateful Dead
A difficult question. I have have some guesses but the best approach is to accept your self as you are
When I was younger spent too much time try to figure it out
I'm not totally sure what it was. However, a sister dressed me up once. I wore a dress for a little while before I gave it to my first girlfriend. I think those had at least a little to do with it.
Actually, we have plenty of evidence. The problem lies in those who want to find the ONE and ONLY cause of transgender feelings. But if you discard that limitation, it's pretty easy to figure out a lot of us if you examine each of our lives extensively enough. There are those who are clearly either genetically or chemically affected before birth, others who may or may not have genetic influences which 'turn on' the gender switch at various points in life, some who have no such predisposition but were influenced during specific stages of development, and of course, any combination of the above. Or perhaps something else entirely, such as a virus or even physical trauma which can cause changes in our brains. Because if you look for a single cause, you're not likely to find it. Perhaps there is a part of our brain which determines gender feelings/behavior/self identification, just as there are parts which focus on hearing, sight, or speech; but until there are more advanced ways of examining our minds, we aren't going to find it. Remember, every thought, every feeling we have is generated by chemical/electrical changes occurring in milliseconds. And we can't measure each thought yet. Eventually, but not yet. Besides, that is the end result of what CAUSED those things to happen. In the meantime, for those who still think there's one and only one cause, happy hunting. I don't think we'll get an answer in our lifetime.Originally Posted by Lynn Marie
Some causes of crossdressing you've probably never even considered: My TG biography at:http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...=1#post1490560
There's an addendum at post # 82 on that thread, too. It's about a ten minute read.
Why don't we understand our desire to dress, behave and feel like a girl? Because from childhood, boys are told that the worst possible thing we can be, is a sissy. This feeling is so ingrained into our psyche, that we will suppress any thoughts that connect us to being or wanting to be feminine, even to the point of creating separate personalities to assign those female feelings into.
It's just speculation. I was the second child born. My mother seemed to always want the perfect family: a son and a daughter. I have an older brother by fourteen months. I was "suppose" to be a girl. Well, my dad's sperm thought otherwise. I heard her comment too many times. One day I cried about it and she consoled me that she loved me. My genetics were totally different than my brother. I took after my father's genes. I was rough and tumble. I was all boy. I'm beginning to think I was still subconsciously plagued by my mother's disavowed desire that I was suppose to be the daughter of the family. I ended up dabbling in her lingerie draw and trying on her dresses. Why" I really don't know.
Recently my mother passed away. Since then I have had no desire to "dress up." I wonder if my cross dressing became a way to seek some acceptance on her terms. Now that she has passed away I'm wondering if I have been set free. Next week I plan to fully dress. I'm wondering how I will feel.
I once started a thread entitle "The Golden Key", which was meant to be a satiric romp on such "why questions".
Understandably, the thread was deleted by the mods (as satire is meant for the bar room).
But I will say that the art of "satire" was once considered a "high art" by the European literary community, which meant that it revealed truth in "non-traditional" ways.
I forget the specifics of the thread, but several of us fine gals here in the forum had begun to reduce the "why" equation to a few key items, which included but certainly was not limited to:
1) Smurfs
2) Guitars
3) Twinkies (the pastry)
4) Some type of special Rum
5) A haphazardly discarded "maid's outfit"
The equation was nearly finished, you see, but the final "ingredient" had been written on a bar napkin that mysteriously "disappeared" when the United States defeated the Russians in hockey during the 1980 Winter Olympics.
Last edited by Taylor Ray; 05-31-2014 at 11:47 PM.
II have never really thought about it , and never really cared about what " caused " Me to love all things femme ! I just go with it and enjoy it !
I went through several phases before I embraced crossdressing more, when I was younger I didn't understand why I was trying on womens clothes and also I used to feel guilty that I was doing something wrong when I was younger because of being raised around a very strict religion, then a few years ago I started to go to a gay/straight bar for the first time and going to a gay/straight bar is what helped me break free mentally from the strict religion I was raised in.
Also about a few years ago I all of a sudden dawned on me in one day that what I need to do is accept my feminine side, as soon as I did that I happened to find crossdressers.com, also that very same day one of my co workers came up to me and she told me my personality reminds her of Dora the fish because I keep forgetting things and thats how I came up with my female name.
My future goals is to eventually do a male to female transformation when I visit Denver, I really want to get some updated pictures on here, also I can say that by embracing crossdressing its one of the very most best things I have done and now I understand myself alot more
Not sure this is a cause, so to speak. Like many men, I always liked women in lingerie, and one day the odd idea hit me about what it would feel like to wear it myself. I had a Fredrick's catalog (this is a year before the WWW erupted into the world) and ordered a gown and a chemise that the size charts indicated would fit me. They arrived, I put on the gown, and a few minutes later after my jangled neurons settled down, I realized I had something new to explore.
Not exactly a Marvel/DC comics origin story, but there you have it.
It was Chemical X.
Last edited by Katey888; 06-02-2014 at 01:50 PM. Reason: Consecutive posts merged - please use edit to add to existing post rather than post again..
Sheer curiosity about how it would feel got me to try it out. Putting it on got me hooked.
it was my step mom also. she got stuck raising me at the age of three, hated me it seems and decided to use me for her pleasure. she never tried making me a girl but her constant sexual influence made me crazy for anything feminine at a very early age. and it led me to experiment.
now that i'm a senior. dressing takes on more emphasis regarding the powerful feminine feelings that i enjoy and how i move - i even seem to eat more lady like (less food) when i'm in that mentality.
i turned 66 today and one of my fervent wishes is that i could just go to the store in female clothes and not be judged. would i shop differently - i suspect i would become much more a woman than i ever could as i hide everything.
my step mom wore an open bottom girdle and she had me go under her dress and unhook the stocking garters attached to the inner side of the girdle. i was about 7-8 and ruth wore no panties that day. i remember being totally confused and exquisitely excited. she soon educated me about her body and how she wanted pleasure, but that first sighting rewired my brain.
Last edited by Katey888; 06-02-2014 at 01:54 PM. Reason: Consecutive posts merged - please use edit to add to existing post rather than adding a successive post...
I began by trying on Mothers dresses,then got bold and took a fresh pkg of pantyhose out of mothers drawer&put them onI have no idea why I am a part-time Crossdresser. I have often suspected my Mother and older sisters had something to do with it but who knows. I am very skeptical that it is genetic but I have not been able to rule it out. Seems like more of a learned behavior that would not exist in a world without nylons, skirts and heels among other distinctly feminine fashions.
There was a time when I pondered this question intensely,......... wondered if it could be cured
Did you see the new diamond back stockings at Secrets in Lace??????
and stepped into a pair of Mothers high heels&enjoyed walking around the house for hours,dressed in her clothes.Next,I began trying on all of her skirts&silky blouses&her blazers
Playful tam, wow. Sounds like child abuse. Probably woudn't be appropriate to continue this story, but let the mods decide!
"You're the only one to see the changes you take yourself through", Stevie Wonder
^.^
I come from an abusive childhood. My means of dealing with the abuse was to force those feelings of anger and hatred deep underground, so to speak. When this finally failed, I developed a dissociative identity disorder, that lasted until 2011, when I forgave my mother (14 years after she died). In 2011, I was able to heal the identity disorder by unifying the personality. The female side won the portion that controls presenting identity and so on, so I now feel like a woman trapped in a man's body. With that done, I could finally REALLY get into exploring and dressing in women's clothing.
Amy M. Jackson
The old nature or nurture question. How do I know? I do know this. I grew up in the age of the miniskirt and a dropped pencil was often rewarded with the sight of som nylon and lace and the mystery of what was under there. Between my mother and a sister a year younger there were plenty of silky nylon things and curiosity took over. It did not take long for the thrill to end in reward. Somewhere between the thrill, the risk and the ultimate reward, it just never stopped and while it is not so much about the teenage reward anymore, it is still an ongoing pleasant experience. It took me a long time to come to grips with the fact that yes, I am a crossdresser and not just a guy with a panty fetish but I guess like Pavlov's dog, I've just had my bell rung one too many times.
I was born this way I think. Been doing it since I was around 5. Just naturally preferred girls things.
You're a Daisy if you do! -Doc Holliday
I was sexually assaulted by a band of pink unicorns in the ladies room of a perfume factory. I've been prancing around in dresses and smelling like a field of wildflowers every since.
Last edited by WhisperTV; 06-03-2014 at 11:51 PM.
I became a crossdresser because I couldn't change my genes.
I just sort of tended to like both manly and girly things, fitted into all social groups. Enjoyed dressing when I tried it on and off, then when I disclosed this to my partner she helped me discover it further and here I am
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