That is an easy one. The answer is no. I have crossdressed since I was a small child. I gave up my favourite sport, surfing, after more than 30 years. I was told I could go deaf in one ear without a simple surgical procedure. I simply stopped surfing four years ago. I am certain that is not the case with crossdressing, it is simply part of who I am.
No. My TG nature was, even before realized it's extent, clearly something that was a part of me. I learned that denying it or suppressing it was not only futile, but had undesirable effects the longer I kept it up.
Could never stop. Been dressing since I was kid. I tried over the years. However today I don’t want stop or even pause. It is who I am.
No I could never quit. Have tried maybe forty years ago when it was a very frustrating thing to deal with. But with an understanding wife and being able to set limits, I look forward to and relish my private time. In fact just picked up a new dress yesterday and looking forward to wearing it tonight.
After at least 67 years of knowingly wanting to dress as a girl and then a woman I could not imagine not dressing as my true gender at times.
i have "quit" countless times and wish i could stop dressing permanently but it controls me. the longer the time between times i can dress the stress and sadness overwhelms me.
Crossdressing is a big part of my life. I would really miss it if I had to stop wearing female clothes, especially panties, pantyhose and heels.
Earlier in life, I made a distinction between borrowing panties for personal pleasure and crossdressing. I knew nothing of crossdressing except what I saw in the 1959 movie, "Some Like It Hot," with Tony Curtis, Jack Lemmon and Marilyn Monroe. I loved the movie, but it did not provoke any desire to dress. Wearing panties occasionally for personal pleasure was entirely different from playing dress-up. Much later, my interest in the texture of smooth, flimsy nylon of many panties led me to borrow other items of similar fabric--pantyhose, slips--and over time, this led to trying on a bra stuffed with socks plus the panties, full slip and pantyhose. Finally, one evening, I borrowed a skirt and blouse and a ratty old wig and went for a ride to window shop at a closed minimall. That was a big change. Up to then, my dressing in women's things (note, they were not my things, they belonged to a woman) were for my own sexual pleasure. That night, it was not about something as basic as personal sexual pleasure, but rather as something more complicated. I started reading about crossdressing and realized that I was/am a crossdresser. Not really surprising by that time, but it had taken quite a while for me to see the reality. Now, I want to look like a woman: hair, makeup, glasses, shoes, hips, breasts, rings, watch, bracelets, fingernails, and clothing: it is way more complicated than just sexual function. I guess I am (we are??) on the gender spectrum.
I have no doubt that crossdressing is related to sexual behavior in some fashion, i.e., it is modulated by hormonal activity. Why or how, I have no clue. I do know that many hormonally modulated behaviors are very difficult to stop. I am an intermittent crossdresser. By this I mean, while admitting that I cannot fully stop (I cannot bear the thought of discarding my forms), I do go long intervals without doing so. These intervals are not voluntary and I often think about it wishfully during the barren times. So, bottom line, I can and do stop the actual act of crossdressing, but the desire never really disappears and the activity usually reappears when an opportunity presents itself.
Last edited by Mary Lawrence; 11-10-2018 at 11:28 AM.
Maybe the right way to look at it isn't "could you quit" but "what are the consequences of trying to do so"? After all, as Krisi said, no one is holding a gun to anyone's head. Are there, perhaps, other forms of compulsion that cannot simply be dismissed as being weak-willed?
Depending on who you are, the answer could be, among others, "basically nothing", "missing it but not intolerably so", "feeling miserable", "eventually having a mental breakdown", "eventually arriving at the threshold of suicide" (as many trans people can testify they did while trying to suppress themselves).
We have people across the spectrum in this thread, and I said "depending on who you are" for a reason -- it's a lot more about who you are, in gender identity on a subconscious level, than about your willpower. The ones who got to "eventually arriving at the threshold of suicide" often have tremendous willpower, but in this area the only place it got them was to the threshold of suicide -- and then, fortunately, back from it. In the cases we hear about, anyway...
An interesting note on the "having a mental breakdown" part of the scale is the experience of Norah Vincent, who wrote the book "Self-Made Man". For about 18 months, Vincent, a self-described butch lesbian, presented and passed as male, including participating in a variety of male-only activities from a bowling team to a therapy group. She was in a pretty bad state by the end of the 18 months, and apparently wrote another book, "Voluntary Madness", about her experiences in a mental hospital.
That's another perspective on trying to present 100% against one's gender identity for an extended period of time.
Originally Posted by MissDanielle
Crossdressing is a love hate love love thing for me. I wear panties and a bra almost every day. Currently unemployed living with my brother. He would NOT understand.. Which is a part of my issue. I am not sure if I was fully free to express myself if I would wear make up or dresses etc. I have in the past and besides being afraid to work on make up skills since I am not sure I would get everything off and then have to answer questions... I would do I more often. As you can see I am conflicted. I enjoy dressing but being fully dressed actually kind of freaks me out. As in what the **** am I doing? Then again it is well I kind of like it... I have saved all my make up and dresses and a pair of pantie hose. Will I wear them again? Not sure at all. But I want to thank all of you for your comments and questions. I often read them all and lean and then dream of what it would be like to have a wife that is supportive. Anyway thanks for listening....
Kirsten
Nope. Could not stop nor do I want to. I’ve come to see this part of me as something to cherish and love, and that makes me more me. Just wish I could share it more often with more people.
I did try quitting, and horribly failed each time.
I remember one summer, in 2012, having this horrible urge to crossdress. It was like craving a cigarette when you have quit smoking.
The urge didn't go away. I was trying to quit, but that's when I knew there was no "quitting". You can't quit being yourself, at least not without serious psychological side effects.
I can't quit. Whenever I have days when I know I won't be able to dress, I already miss it on the first night.
If I ever could do it, without consequences, even for a couple of weeks, I would totally go out dressed.
If circumstances hit hard, and I could not dress, simply because of severe circumstances, like war, natural disasters, fires, cancer, severe injuries, or homeless, you bet I could stop. If there is no food or water, or housing, it becomes unimportant then.
If I could give it up, I would. I consider it my cross to bear.
Karen Sue
I would like to stop wearing ladies clothes but
as time went on I always revert to wearing ladies clothes
I’ve given it up in the past, and even though I had given it up, I never stopped thinking about it. So after a long absence, my feminine self has re-emerged with a vengeance.
It's the pink fog. It only affects certain gurls. Like the weather, it may come and go, but once you've been drawn into it the first time, there's a gravitational pull that will always win out over time. Maybe, after I've passed away, the pink fog will dissipate. Maybe.
Veronica
Love who you are! You are uniquely you!!
I'm seeing a counselor about this issue now. As she asks, Have you considered what this will cost you if you're caught? Are you willing to pay that price?
I've walked away from it for a while, but I seem to end up being drawn back to it. It's like an addiction.
Darci, honey, what exactly does your counsellor mean about "getting caught" and "paying the price?" Caught being true to yourself? It sounds like he/she is trying to shame you into changing, rather than helping lead you to a solution. It may be time to look for another therapist who is not going to be judgemental and will be supportive despite the differences he / she may have in their clothing preferences.
Veronica
Love who you are! You are uniquely you!!
Try many times the best I could do was 3 yrs. And when it came back it was stronger than ever. So no I can't stop and don't ever want to.
GLENDA
I FEEL LIKE A WOMAN
Veronica, no, she (my counselor) is not trying to shame me or be judgmental. I am still very much "closeted". My wife has virtually no idea, and my wife IS judgmental. So if she "caught" me, it could very well be the end of our marriage, along with a whole lot else (friends, finances, etc.)
So she's simply trying to help me face the realities and the choices I'm making.
Darci, have you tried discussing the idea in general? Wouldn't it be worse if your wife finds out without your having brought it up? If it's a part of who you are, wouldn't it be better to start the conversation so it doesn't become a time bomb?
Veronica
Love who you are! You are uniquely you!!
Do we really need to have this exact same conversation every month?
Here’s my short answer, and it’s going to be as unpopular as all my long answers on the same topic.
If you’re a full-presentation crossdresser, the chances are 99/100 that you fit one of the following two descriptions:
1) You have some varying degree of gender dysphoria
2) You have some varying degree of gender dysphoria and refuse to accept it.
I exclude all the MIADs in that statement because I don’t understand that phenomenon well enough to comment.
Last edited by KatrinaK; 11-11-2018 at 10:02 PM.
Oh my, that makes me a 1%’er...
I’ll bite on that Chantal. Why do you present as a woman? You’ve obviously invested a tremendous amount of time in fully presenting because your presentation is impeccable. Why would you do that if you weren’t compelled? My specialist therapist has told me flat out that she believes ALL of us have some degree of GD. It comes in varying degrees and it does not mean that you need to even consider transitioning. I find way too much black and white thinking on the subject and as someone who is in intense therapy to find a way to confidently accept this side of myself (I identify as gender fluid at present) I find it incredibly frustrating that very few of us ask the difficult question: WHY?
Last edited by KatrinaK; 11-11-2018 at 10:26 PM.
