This was going to be a post on the "what's the longest you've been dressed" thread, but it took another turn, and I thought it was interesting enough for it's own thread. Scary delving into your own head sometimes, isn't it.
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Last summer, every minute for 6 weeks, when I wasn't at work, I was fully enfemme. I think the longest stretch during that time was about 5 days (took some time off work to do it). Kids were away at grandparents house for the summer, and my wife was super cool about it.
Something I just thought of--last summer was the longest stretch ever for me personally dressing enfemme as much as possible. One thing I noticed during that time (and since) -- the longer I was enfemme, the harder it became to not act totally feminine. Like, my internal controls were breaking down, and my female self was freeing herself from the psychological male bonds within me.
At first, this was a bit disturbiing - "am I losing control here?" sort of thing. And this hasn't gone away, either. Seems like when those barriers are down, they stay down. The girl comes closer to the surface, and she refuses to be caged. I wonder what psychology is behind this. I have no idea. A year later, even though I'm not dressing as much as I was then, my inner girl is still MUCH closer to the surface than she was before last summer.
This seems to be the case even when I'm not dressed at all now. Well, I wear panties 24/7, so MOSTLY not dressed. Is this a natural consequence of being a crossdresser? Or is this a stage (or evolution) of a transgender person? I never considered myself (and still don't consider myself) a transsexual. But if my female side, which has definitely gotten stronger, continues to get stronger, then what?
Truely, I have no idea.
Crysten
