Many years back when I was totally in the closet, I referred to my femme desires as a form of sickness. Later as an interesting facet of my personality for which I felt total guilt and anger about. Even later I embraced it and then once I brought it all the way out of the closet I realized it was me all along.
During the earlier periods of my life I was an incomplete person, I was not myself at all. After many years of introspection, reflection, learning, reading, growing and now living the life I have pulled out and unfolded the rest of my personality and I am whole again. So rather than referring to my femme side in the third person, I was in actual fact one third of a person, a totally different thing. Now I am just me with all my masculine and feminine desires, dreams, foibles and tendencies.
