Well here is another fine example of cognitive windsurfing in waters best left undisturbed. Not pointing or implying or judging or anything but simply thinking out loud here…
Aside from the multiple personality, schizophrenic and ventriloquist explanations…here is another option to consider. Here is a hypothetical example….
“Boris” marries an unsuspecting wife named “Nastasha“. He maintains a secret life as a CD named “Doris“. Doris is different than Boris. Doris happens to have all of the desirable feminine attributes that Boris felt he could not bring into the marriage or reveal to his wife Nastasha. It is like a little kid that creates an invisible friend…who gets to do everything the little kid is not allowed to do.
Boris’s guilt feelings grow as the secret “life” becomes more complex and difficult to conceal. One option is to be honest and disclose everything to his wife. The other option is to try and “distance” himself from the responsibility of his actions.
Sometimes it begins with reports of feminine feelings or thoughts popping up (like they are not your own). The “cloning” and separation expands into third party references to self as if two separate identities are appearing ( Boris is reducing his connection with everything, as “Doris” continues to “act on her own“). She ultimately becomes “Doris” which completes the disassociation of responsibility for Boris for any future behavior and actions carried out by “Doris”. It is almost like watching one of those TV shows, where somebody slowly turns into a “Werewolf“. Sounds a bit extreme, but not to me in conceptual comparison.
I frequently find myself observing this (unconscious?) behavior in a strange and distorted manner. I catch myself following each scenario almost like a TV game show, waiting for the participants to arrive at that same trailhead. Then seeing if I was correct in predicting which one of the three paths they will choose to take.
1) The genuine struggle with overwhelming guilt and the exhaustion of secrecy finally produces the courage for them to reach out to their SO and take a shot at acceptance.
2) Continue to conceal their CD activity… and live with the frustration and guilt of being stuck in the “middle”…unable to tell the wife ~ yet too faithful to face the guilt that would follow taking any “next steps” forward in their CD journey. (hoping for miracles)
3) Continue as usual, feeling happy, content with the status quo and feeling positive about the future.
3) Or continue with the self-deception of believing “Doris has control”…Anything is OK to do in “Doris mode”… there are “two persons“, so Boris is not responsible for Doris behavior…Boris had no other options…Doris behavior does not affect Boris behavior…and anything else that sounds credible enough to justify jumping aboard that “Street Car named Desire", lol.
4) Escalating the CD activities, but pretending it is acceptable, since Boris is struggling, but making an honorable attempt by seeking counseling, etc.
Just a thought…what do you think?
Originally Posted by eluuzion
