Which is the real side of us?

[Michelle789]

I think the femme side IS a real side. But it is how you describe it, "a side": a facet, a part of. This is what being a CD is all about, non-conforming gender.

If you are a crossdresser than both the male and female sides are part of who you are, and both need to be expressed. Both sides are your real side.

Transsexuals and cispersons (a cisperson is someone who is comfortable with their birth sex) don't have two sides, they are binary (either male or female). And so there is no struggle to figure out which "side" is real. ... They know who they are, there are no "sides".

Actually, many transsexuals will bury and repress their true nature so deeply that they might struggle to figure out their identity. It wasn't until 2014 that I knew for sure that I identify as female. Prior to this year I wasn't sure, although I always felt like I was a girl on the inside, I wasn't sure my true identity (male, female, neither, both, something else) until this year. At my TG support group we discussed this issue too many times. In my case my femme side is my real side.