Being realistic !

[Teresa]

I have a thread running at the moment about my sister in law meeting up with me to choose some furniture , this is a continuation and to me something new to think about .

So far I've related stories to mostly experiences buying clothes , over the years I've been through the various stepping stones of being underdressed and wondering if the SA had noticed and gradually building my confidence to shop totally dressed . I've reached the point where using women's changing rooms doesn't phase me at all . At times I do wonder what the SAs and other customers think , wondering how well I pass , I know I've been saying for a while that very few if any of us do pass 100%, we really do have too many telltales .

Buying my furniture has made me think we have to be more realistic , when we say we pass the only true answer is 100% but as a TG not as a woman .

I decided to buy my furniture on on an interest free deal , mainly because I need to sit on my capital to do other jobs around my home , so this is where the big reveals happen . The first problem was because I have only lived in my new home for just over a year I had to give details of my previous address , which also came with a raft of questions about marital status and children . I then had to supply a photo ID to verify who I was and my true address so I used my driving licence . OK I could have avoided all this if I'd just paid in cash or my debit card but I actually didn't mind , to me I was being realistic in showing I'm TG , I wasn't ashamed to admit it , there was no way I was going to pass because of the obvious paper trail we leave through our lives and the answers to the questions I'd just been asked . I actually feel a stronger person and more comfortable being TG because I've shown people it isn't a problem and they have treated me with respect and courtesy in return . That also could be because they may think I've transitioned but they have no way of knowing unless I chose to tell them but I see no point in that , obviously I did do all the transactions using my femme name and avoided ticking the MR. box as my title .

I'm now considering making up a carefully worded questionaire to ask the sales people I dealt with what their thoughts and feelings are towards the TG community , I appreciate I will have to take care but most of us do wonder so what harm is there in actually finding out . I will certainly pass on any information when I have it .

I also hope I haven't burst anyone's bubble , the passing question keeps coming up , at the moment there is a thread in the TS section about voice training because of being misgendered , I hate to say this but we are basically born as we are , some will always be misgendered no matter how much you practice your voice or attempt to change other aspects . As I've shown life has it's little traps which we can't avoid, our history can't be totally eradicated but saying that I wouldn't want mine to be so .

I wasn't sure where to post this thread until I realised it does have relevence in this section as it's the one the majority of members start their journey , so I hope it does give people here something to think about .