Hi. Me again with another denial question. I've 95%+ accepted I'm a crossdresser and that it's not a fad due to anxiety.

But... I suppose there's no real answer, but how many non-CD people try crossdressing once or a few times and then realise it's not for them? Or are non-CD people not curious in the slightest about their mum's clothes (or whatever triggers us)? What does a non-CD person say when asked what they think about them wearing their mum/wives clothes? If you say it never crosses their mind, that it's an alien concept to them then I'll have to accept I'm a crossdresser once and for all.

Yes, yes, I know I'm seeking to deny what I feel is true anyway, but life would certainly be easier (but less fun) if I didn't CD.

In other news: yesterday I painted my own nails, in front of my wife who was "happy" about it. Bright red didn't suit me (so my wife said anyway). It came off before bed.

I've managed to focus on real work yesterday and today and that felt good as I didn't need to CD - until I came back from a nice walk and a controllable desire to dress came on - so I'm sat here dressed. Hmm. Nice.

I also realise that for my entire life I've tried exhaustively to please everyone else at my own expense. To be the "son of my mum's dreams" (she doesn't even know I smoked for some years as that would upset her view of me), or the "husband of my wife's dreams" - trying to anticipate her every need. Exhausting and has never left much space for me.

Thanks for reading another one of my rambles and sorry yet again it's denying what's pretty damned obvious!