Originally Posted by Dita's Daughter
Just a curiosity question, you know us GGs..
I've noticed some of you refer to yourselves in the third person when discussing your en femme selves, if I use the term correctly. For example, one might say about themselves CDed, "she likes to wear this" or "she thinks about that". Would you consider yourself one person, one being the female you and the male you in one body all the time or do you find yourself identifying with a different 'personality' for lack of a better word, when you're dressed en femme? I would think the experiences here will differ among you all.
Keep smilin', DD.
I do i guess because when dressed, i feel altogether different, a different focus of energy's, and feeling, even though there the same person, my views are the same, the way i treat others is the same, my outlook on life is the same, but i feel so totally different. My mannerisms are different, the way i move is different, the way i focus my feelings is different, the way i project myself is totally different. I can switch back and forth from these different feelings what ever i am dressed like, sometimes it feels like a split personality, but there both me. Sheri 4242 said something that resonates with me a lot......
I don't know how many have experienced this, but sometimes a CDer can be happily en femme (with his feminine personna in control) then something upsetting happens. A rush of testosterone in many subjects (though not all, b/c there are pysiological differences of various degrees, individual to individual) may suddenly send the person spiralling out of the feminine into the masculine. Not a whole lot of research on this, but it is being examined.
In guy mode, you would never ever guess i was a cd, there is nothing feminine looking about me, but i can switch that in a second, and freak a lot of people out im sure. In girl mode, there is not a lot that is masculine, though there are times that it does come back, like sheri said, but the more i am chantelle, the less this happens, its almost like she is becoming more and more a separate individual, even though all of the root personality's are the same. My sister says, chantelle is just the softer more gentle side of me, I fully enjoy, both genders, love being a man, and love being a lady, i don't feel like i am a woman trapped in a mans body at all, though sometimes chantelle wishes <third party thingy> *giggles* all her parts are real,but.. in order to be able to feel everything, meaning male and female totally, you have to have one root sex, and the one you are all the time, is the one that just feels normal, and in a way i am really glad the female one isn't the normal one, because you ladies energy's feel amazing to say the least! But then again...a males energy's to a woman would have the same effect, wouldn't they?? i guess this is why i use the third party thingy. Because what i feel is real, has a real energy vibration to it, i become a woman, i live like one, as long as i stay focused as one. Start to feel male energies again, i become a male again, still same person, but how i resonate out, and draw in, totally changes, in other words, how i focus my feelings outwardly, and how i draw feelings inwardly that touch my heart, change from male mode to female. This is why i cant stop dressing, because the energies are real, to not any more, would be like banishing the woman i know how to feel, and it feels so alive. It would be like getting cut in 1/2 at the waist, because i now expanded my awareness to encompass fully being human. male and female, Completeness, whole, really alive, to be able to draw from both sides of the coin, and at any time i choose. How liberating is that:D :D :D Female is not any better, and neither is the male, they are just equal, but opposite. If i was to refer to myself as a mix of the both, i would be creating something different, and i don't want that at all, i want to feel both separate for what they are totally. How Chatelle feels and resonates is totally different from how i do, and the differences are getting stronger as she grows. What will she become???? it still fascinates me to no end!!! I look forward to it, i know she will have a voice, a whole personality, you wont be able to tell she isn't a woman under the clothing.She has to be separate, or i create something eles. She has to exist separately!
Ugg i rambeled along agin, sorry all.
