I have been crossdressing all my life, and through 17 years of marriage. That said, you're probably not going to like this. I don't think it is fair to your wife or girlfriend, to "come out", and put it right in her face. You wouldn't like it if your lovely wife suddenly let all her leg and underarm hair grow out, and got a mans haircut, and started dressing like a man, along with a lot of other male mannerisms. If you want to dress, by all means do so. It's a lifelong thing. But keep it private, and don't flaunt it in her face.
Forget all the "honesty" BS. Most of you come out for selfish reasons. Too many of you are seeking a green light to sit around the house in heels and a nightie, in front of your family, and force them to accept it. I'm telling you, it ain't going to happen! If you value your wife and family, keep your little secret!
I know this is a support group. But let's show a little common sense!
