So.... why DO you hide it?

[Julogden]

Not answering your question and going off on a bit of a tangent here: several years back, there was a self-help guru/author (can't remember his name now, seem to recall an Italian surname) who did some shows for PBS, and the one thing that he said that stuck with me was (essentially, can't remember his exact words) that if you're an apple, don't live your life pretending to be an orange, as you'll only attract people who like oranges.

I think that's REALLY good advice for those who are single. There ARE women out there who would like to know us, so if we go through life totally hiding our real selves, we'll probably never meet them.

Of course, this has to be balanced to a degree, but I think it's a really good idea to at least give off a hint or two of who we really are. And I also feel VERY strongly that it's foolish, at best, to get married or to enter a serious relationship without a full disclosure of our CD status, to do otherwise is just asking for trouble and heartbreak, and it's dishonest and unfair to the other person.

I am also of the opinion that anyone who is involved in any sort of CD/TG activites has no business getting into a serious relationship until they've done some hard work to learn who they are regarding their gender issues. Work out the details of sexual and gender stuff BEFORE getting into a serious relationship, not after. It's not fair to your SO to announce that you've suddenly discovered that you're a TS and need to go on hormones or that you're attracted to men or other CD's. That's the sort of thing that you need to discover while you're single and able to explore them. I also know that sometimes we make foolish decisions and/or, through self-ignorance, end up in relationships that we shouldn't be in, but there are enough resources available to us nowadays that increasingly, there is no excuse for self-ignorance.:2c:

Carol