I just scanned through the postings and I'll have to say this is a *very* interesting conversation. It shows, all too well, how we as a society have blurred the lines between gender and sexual identity. They are definitely *not* the same.
IMHO, one's gender relates to one's feminine or masculine identity. Note, I did not say male or female, because that's a structural definition, if not a genetic one, though genetics can be debated.
One's sexual identity relates to whether you wish to have sex with someone who is male or female, structurally.
Ah, but here's where the line blurs. How are we attracted to someone, sexually? Is it because of their "hardware" or is it because of the way they look and act? We do not, in this culture, walk around flashing our *parts* to others; nudity is a whole other issue.
No, what others see is how we dress and act, and that is what initially causes a sexual attraction.
If you are a CD, and see another CD, who you do not know is a CD, and who looks and acts like a woman, you might believe that person to be a GG. Now, if you are attracted to "her", I would say you were acting heterosexually. But, if you knew she was actually a he, and were still attracted, does that make you bi or gay?
Frankly, I do not know. Why? Because I might be responding to the femininity of the person, and acting from heterosexual impulses. Or, I might be reacting to the male underneath, in which case I might be bi or gay.
Tricky, isn't it? And frustrating!
What's the answer? Be true to thyself. And be kind to thyself, as well. Give yourself, and your SO if any, time to explore and understand who and what you are. AS I see it, this exploration is a life-long undertaking, and there are often no hard and fast answers, merely theories.
That said, allow me to propose a litmus test I use for myself. Am I hetero, bi or gay? Well, when I look at a *guy*, I do not feel aroused. Nor do I wish to jump in the sack with *him*. However, when I see a beautiful *woman*, I am aroused, and might entertain fantasies. Which means, IMHO, I am a heterosexual male, who likes to dress and act in a feminine manner.
Anyway, that's my 5 cents.
Toodles!
