Desire to look like a woman, or feminine??

[Shannen]

I've thought all day about writing this post. I might offend some, but that is not my goal. I hope we can all share opinions with each other in an open and kind manner.

I posted a thread asking advice on outfits to wear to a movie. The thread was wonderfully answered by many helpful members (thanks!). It was mentioned "my wife wears xxxxx and yyyyy to the movies", and eventually it turned to "if you want to blend in wear jeans, if you wear a skirt you will draw attention". (some paraphrasing has occurred of course. )

So, what is my goal? To look like a woman? OR To look feminine?

I've seen beautiful GG's, and I've seen GG's that are ... not.

I've seen a few post-op transsexuals that looked like women. They wore women's clothing, hairstyle, jewelry, etc... But they didn't look feminine.

What is feminine? Have I bought the lie of over-sexed marketing? Do I feel feminine only when I have a skirt, hose, and high heels on?

I KNOW that I could go out to a movie as a woman in jeans and a sweatshirt with minimal makeup and flats for footwear. I WANT to go out to a movie in a skirt and heels because I can't!

A woman (GG) can look feminine, or she can dress in a non-feminine manner. I'm only supposed to have one choice...

Well, regardless if you can make any sense of my post, I just found it funny that I would be encouraged to dress like a woman wearing androgenous clothing to "blend in" on a crossdressing site!

-Shannen

[jaina]

You can blend in, in a skirt.

Many on this site seem to only think that there are jeans or mini skirts.

[Angie G]

I would think if the skirt was not so sexy you could pull it off Will you be going for a totally feninine look.
Angie

[Karren H]

Yeah... Except for a couple times... (And not jeans.. Dress slacks). I always wear a dress or a skirt no matter where I go out enfemme... And jaina is right on.. Ya don't have to go over the top.. I'm a fem jeans hater... And refuse to wear then to blend in.. And who said I want to blend in any way.. Chances are an overly tall woman in a dress and heels gets noticed... Even whistled at last time out in Charleston...

So.... What was the question again? Lol

Ohh ya... Feminine.. Well I notice I walk feninine no matter how I'm dressed... Arms swinging.. Little bit of a hop.. And smaller steps... And I sit like a lady even in a 3 piece dark blue male suit....

Sooooo. My goal is to have fun out enfemme... And I do !!

[Shannen]

Yeah... Except for a couple times... (And not jeans.. Dress slacks). I always wear a dress or a skirt no matter where I go out enfemme... And jaina is right on.. Ya don't have to go over the top.. I'm a fem jeans hater... And refuse to wear then to blend in.. And who said I want to blend in any way.. Chances are an overly tall woman in a dress and heels gets noticed... Even whistled at last time out in Charleston...

So.... What was the question again? Lol

Ohh ya... Feminine.. Well I notice I walk feninine no matter how I'm dressed... Arms swinging.. Little bit of a hop.. And smaller steps... And I sit like a lady even in a 3 piece dark blue male suit....

Sooooo. My goal is to have fun out enfemme... And I do !!

I was just looking at your before/after pictures... I noticed the "pose" doesn't change between genders...

Go Penguins!

[docrobbysherry]

I think you've hit on one of the BIG differences between CDs that go out, and ones that stay in the closet.

If you're going out, u may have to consider carefully, where u r going, who u mite meet, etc., etc. If u make a mistake, it may NOT be funny!

Us closet folks can throw any kind of wild, crazy, over the top outfits at the spur of the moment. If we screw up, all that happens is, we get a good laugh looking at our pics!

[harmony]

nice post shannen-thank you!
there is a femminine side in all of us-mine just occasionally wants out-it wants to be expressed,and not by imitating a woman.
i dont usually dress for some event but rather start naked like i came into this world and go from there expressing my mood of the moment like a painter filling a canvas with inspiration.some of the time it turns out well and can be viewed by the public or it might be discarded for a new start on another day.
i am most happy when i look into the mirror-the one on the wall or the one society provides by seeing me and reacting-and i see another piece of the puzzle that is me-in that case the femme me.
having evolved from compulsive and furtive excursiones into womens clothing to beeing able to artistically express myself
has been a rich journey so far.
well..that is just me and certainly to each their own!!

[Karren H]

This just reminded me of the worst nonfeminine faux pau I've made while out enfemme... I get nasally every so often and it usually results in a large ball of flem flying through the air.. Well one time out enfemme... I got the urge... And without thinking.. Rolled down the window and let oone loose... Fooooommmmm.... Then it hit me... Women don't spit!!! Hahaha.. I looked around and no one saw me..

[Andine]

[SIZE=2]Hey Shannen!![/SIZE]
[SIZE=2]Dress the way you want to be .... Have the confidence to know that what you saw in the mirror is still there, and others will see the same thing![/SIZE]
[SIZE=2][/SIZE]
[SIZE=2]I nearly always wear skirts and 5" heels ( Black or red ) ... The only time I wore jeans was when I was going to be walking all over Sydney and I wanted to wear joggers. [/SIZE]
[SIZE=2][/SIZE]
[SIZE=2]DSC00254.jpg[/SIZE]
[SIZE=2][/SIZE]
[SIZE=2]Even today I wore a long full black skirt and 5" black stilleto boots to a friends place for coffee ... On the way I stopped at a patisserie and got some almond croisants ... There were heaps of people there and I didn't see anyone staring at me, and I just behaved as normal. I know I got looked at by a group of older men outside the cafe', but that was in apreciation![/SIZE]

[vivianann]

I find that women wear every thing from jeans to skirts to dresses, I see alot of women in jeans with high heels, I think as long as you are not wearing a formal gown to the movies no one will notice. I agree with what Karren Hutton says, I always wear a dress or a skirt, and I seem to blend in for the most part, I am careful to not wear a too fancey dress for the occasion. I get alot of compliments from women and some men, the other day I was wearing a denim skirt to just above the knee's and a white silky blouse with tiny black dots, and a woman came up to me and said to me you sure know how to make a denim skirt look classy, that made my day. she also complimented my legs. So girls you dont have to wear femme denim pants to blend in, just make sure what you are wearing looks nice even if it is casual.

[Joanne f]

I think that you are right in that there is a difference between the two,
most can look like a woman if they had enough time and maybe money and practice to create the illusion that is what you will see on the out side.
But being feminine is something that has to come from the inside, it is something that controls your hole body, movements and thoughts, the way you stand, sit, walk, jesters and movements with your hands, soft flowing motions, and because of the different muscle tissue in a male it would mean that you have to put a lot of time and effort into it and it would not be something that you could switch on and off at will, so if you can achieve that i think it will be something you will show all the time without you even realising it .
Then if you reach that stage and wear something soft and feminine you will flow like a gentle breeze in the long grass and be the envy of all .



joanne

[TGMarla]

Yeah, but you asked what you should wear to the movies. This is not the 1940's, where all the stars dressed to the 9s for their movie premiers.

You can wear whatever you want to wear to the movies. But movies have become a casual and comfortable occasion when it comes to clothing. So if you want to put on a dress, go ahead. But if you want to blend in and look like all the other women there, dress down.

[krisla]

I feel femmine when I wear jeans, and I do like to blend in with the other girls. However, when I can I will wear a casual skirt shopping or to lunch and that is heaven, I just make sure I don't overdue it for daytime.

[Dorisnycd]

When I dress i go extreme. Meaning that i wear the sexiest femme things I can....garters, stockings sexy thongs panties , bras, seamed sheer stockings and high stilettos. Tight dresses short sexy skirts. Since I am tall and muscled I try to make up for my more masculine features by overdoing the sexy parts! I love it! I feel wonderful and think I look femme and sexy. Passable???? Maybe not at 6'8!!!! But I do get dates! So I guess I'll stick with it!

[Chari]

IMO, most everyone can wear female clothing/makeup and appear to be a woman, but presenting the feminine image comes from within and takes practice. For me, I always try to dress age appropriate (or perhaps abit younger) and for the event - shopping, movies, dancing, night time party, etc. Wearing anything that is out of the norm in society will always get some attention. It is just how much attention you want!
Chari

[Shannen]

all great thoughts!

I agree that femininity has to start on the inside for it to come through genuinely. And I certainly didn't mean to say that a pair of jeans can't look feminine!

There are so many things that go into blending... like if I wear my wig with long hair, shouldn't I put it in a braid or pony-tail? 90% of GG's aren't going to put up with long hair making them overheat in the summertime without pulling it back somehow!

I just don't want to look like a man trying to look like a woman that is wearing comfortable (mens?) clothes.... toooo easy, and we see it every day.

As I thought more about it I realized I should say that people sometimes choose to look nice, and sometimes are slobs! My vision of femininity never includes the latter, and while I know no one was suggesting it, my conclusion was that to blend in the best, maybe the put-together look isn't the best idea.

Shannen

[MJ]

it's how you feel inside that counts . jeans are one option an alliterative is Dress slacks you can still wear heels .
i feel that i don't pass but it's how i feel that counts .
try to blend in that way you have a slim chance of getting noticed

you know the old joke... how do you spot the cross dresser at the mall

well don't do that

[Tomara]

Hi Shannan , My opinion would be that a person can be or feel feminine and sexy in just about any kind of clothing , It all depends on how YOU feel about yourself and what YOU are comfortable with , so just be who you want to be and stop wondering what other people think you should look like or what you should wear . Enjoy yourself and have fun! Tomara

[JoAnnDallas]

Shannen......Take a look at my avatar. I have worn this outfit out and about many times and I have had no problem blending in. So if you want to wear a skirt, wear a skirt. Make sure the top goes great with it. What I would not do, is go over-the-top with a mini skirt, 5" spike heels, and heavy makeup. Use the KISS approach. A knee length skirt, nice top, low heels kinda like my avatar and you will be fine.

[Charleen]

I dress for my comfort. I've worn jeans all my life and I ain't stopping now. might go see the Indy movie today and I'm going to dress like I am in the avatar. Nice blouse, jeans, a little eye make up and lip gloss. It's too hot for boots so I'll wear my flats. That's who I am. Call it adrogonous if you will, but most girls my age dress that way ewhen they go out casually.
I say wear what ever you are comfort in and with. Our choices of dress are endless.

[Annabelle1962]

I dress to feel good, I enjoy the feel of wearing nice clothes like the feel of suspender/garter straps pulling on the stockings when you walk. I only dress, I do not use make-up or shave my body. I want to but that for my wife would be going too far so I just make do with the dressing. We are making progress though as I am now permitted to wear my silky nighty to bed.

[Toni_Lynn]

I too have thought about this. Its kind of deep-seated back to when I first started crossdressing

I was a bit of a chubby kid and as such was made to wear boy's clothes marketed with unfortunate moniker 'Huskies'. Oh how I hated that! I wanted sooo much to be sugar and spice and not snips and snails!

And of course girls clothes had this 'groovier' look with bright colours and patterens and styles. I was never allowed to wear jeans to school, so it was always a boring pair of dress pants and a shirt. I looked on in envy as girls had not only pants, but skirts and blouses and bodysuits and dresses!

And then -- boom! The other girls were getting their first bras. Their mums made them feel special. The girls where being encouraged in a sense to be pretty. And all I was getting was this disgusting hair on my face and a smelly jockstrap to wear to a gym class that I hated. Girls had magazines like Seventeen and American Girl. I had nothing.

I wanted soooo much to be be special, to be pretty. So in my little brain I set out ways to do for me .. to nurture the girl within.

It wasn't so much wanting to be a girl --- but to look pretty and feminine -- and to be accepted as 'just one of the girls' in spite of the anatomical incongruity.

Its funny ya know -- as a boy I was a total wash out at sports and gym class -- and I always felt that if I was a girl that I would be encouraged and nutured, whereas as a boy I was deemed a total washout. Hmm -maybe in my little brain I figured that if everyone saw me as a girl, I'd be worthy of that encouragement.

Mind you, I want to be girly-girl -- but I want be a bit of a cute impish tomboy too!

I suppose that is why to this day I just love wearing girls clothes and can be equally happy in jeans and sweatshirt (happier still if the sweat shirt says GIRL'S SOFTBALL TEAM or somthing like that on it), a skirt or dress, and yes -- much to the chagrin of some -- those psuedo tighty-whities for girls that have stirred up heated opinion in my Would You Wear These Thread. As long as I'm wearing what every other girl wears -- then I feel pretty and most importantly -- I feel special.

You know -- the beauty of this all is --and the assembled multitude may be sick of hearing this -- but because my wife loves the girl within me and encourages her (can you tell that we are newlywed) -- for the first time in my life, I feel that somone else considers me to be special!

Huggles

Toni-Lynn

--- wondering why everything I seem to be saying here keeps taking on a weird psychological twist

[jaina]

This just reminded me of the worst nonfeminine faux pau I've made while out enfemme... I get nasally every so often and it usually results in a large ball of flem flying through the air.. Well one time out enfemme... I got the urge... And without thinking.. Rolled down the window and let oone loose... Fooooommmmm.... Then it hit me... Women don't spit!!! Hahaha.. I looked around and no one saw me..

Women spit, wear trousers, curse in public and drink beer from a bottle.
You were thinkking of ladies, ladies don't spit.

[CharleneT]

I think you've hit on a wonderful topic. GG's can be feminine in most any clothes. As many have said it is how your present yourself that gives the "feminine" appearance. Now, in the case of something casual like a movie, most GG's do not care to bother to be feminine. People here give good advice about blending in and so in a way, you blend best by looking like you are just a girl in jeans and a top who's going to the movies. BUT CD's want to experience more than the plain jane day to day. So, we in general dress up more than a GG would in many situations. In the end it gets down to which is more important to you on any particular occasion: being feminine or passing by blending. Go for which ever you want, neither is better. Of course, if the event is one where you are supposed to dress up, then the dynamic is a bit different. But most of what we do is just day to day living (shopping, movies etc).

C.

[victoriamwilliams1]

This just reminded me of the worst nonfeminine faux pau I've made while out enfemme... I get nasally every so often and it usually results in a large ball of flem flying through the air.. Well one time out enfemme... I got the urge... And without thinking.. Rolled down the window and let oone loose... Fooooommmmm.... Then it hit me... Women don't spit!!! Hahaha.. I looked around and no one saw me..

The women I know do and better than me

Anyway, when I dress it is to present myself as a tall woman, I had an offer to buy some jeans and I turned them down as I do not look good in them. I think that how a person dresses is based on how they feel. I know GG's who wear dresses and skirts every 14-21 days for about a week then back to pants. Oh yeah it does not take a rocket scientist to know why they have that pattern.