http://www.salon.com/mwt/broadsheet/...ity/index.html
If so, then how come so many say they're not attracted to us? Maybe we're just not 'woman enough' for them?
http://www.salon.com/mwt/broadsheet/...ity/index.html
If so, then how come so many say they're not attracted to us? Maybe we're just not 'woman enough' for them?
Interesting, and there seems to be evidence of both. I shall have to think about that.
I know that the assertion that all women are a little bit bi will probably bristle some people and it's probably not true. But I sure do know a lot of otherwise straight girls who have had random hookups with other girls than straight guys who have had random hookups with other guys. Women get closer in friendships. Probably easier to extend into romantic territory from there than it is for guys who keep their distance even in the most intimate friendships.
Only after a few drinks, or so I've heard. :D Seriously though, I doubt it.
I don't know what's so hard about finding women that are accepting. I've been somewhat of a perv (CDing is the least of it) my entire life and I've always been in relationships with like minded or at least tolerant females. But, then again, I was looking for them and wouldn't settle for anything less. I have had girlfriends that were bi, but none of them were as accepting or enthusiastic of my CDing as my current strictly hetero wife. I guess they like their women to be real girls. So do I.
I know that Salon is just too hip for words, but somebody explain to me: "What is bonobo sex?" I will claim age and befuddlement as an excuse...somehow; just forgot to renew my subscription to that mag, so I remain uncouth!
By the way, I think if your smart, you won't be bringing up this idea of Bisexuality to your GF or wife. If you have already told her about your femme self; she probably is already exploring that possibility, and is probably feeling a mite uncomfortable with it. (I know DD will read this and take exception...but you ain't the "norm" kid!) I would imagine you don't want to start a big discussion about her "being Bi." Not unless you want to sleep on The Couch this weekend.
Peace and Love, Joanie
Well, I haven't had a serious girlfriend in years, so no worriesOriginally Posted by sterling12
Bonobo sex would be sex between bonobos - a kind of ape, kind of like baboons...
I've never liked the traditional gay/straight/bi labelling system. I think everybody fits somewhere on a sliding scale of sexuality, and making any kind of generalisation about sexuality is wrong.
Baboons are monkeys, bonobos are very close relatives of chimps and are infamous for their enormous appetitive for sex which they use for social bonding. They are not seen frequently on TV because of this as it is awkward watching apes going at it the same way as humans do - literally all the range of positions you can think of.
As for women being bi-sexual, I have seen polls which indicate that bi-curiosity in teenage girls runs at about 75% so clearly women do not share the fear of same sex relationships that men do.
DITTO! You have got it!!!
I think the keys words here are, "What's key to cranking hetero females' dials is sensuality ........................... women have a physiological response."
I could have the author wrong but I believe it was Sena Jeter Naslund, author of, "Ahab's Wife" who said, "we are all multi-sexual." To me, I think it's the difference in how men and women respond when asked. Women are more honest about their feelings, men were trained, and are more reserved. Meaning, even if they respond physiologically, they're not going to admit it. In our society it's more ok for two women to be physical than it is for two men to show physical attraction. Unless, of course, we're talking about slapping butt on the baseball or football field.
Boy Oh boy! There are a lot of things to think about in this thread already!
Firstly...Like Joanie/Sterling says, better be careful about generalizing about the born female mind concerning sexual preference. Women's thinking comes in as many different flavors as men's. And, given cultural background and experience, women can prolly be just as confused as we are through our post puberty years.
Secondly... Given the above, and like Lisa mentions, I also think that intimacy between women may indeed come easier as a more logical next step in close friendships. Women are more concerned with grooming among themselves and that encourages more actual physical contact of a gentle kind than typical physical contact between men, which involves the aggresson of contact sports. Many boys who participated in the that gentler sort of thing as youngsters are probably here rather than on the fantasy football or wrestling web sites, eh?
It's not often you see men brushing each other's hair or helping each other into their clothes. Even friendly physical contact between men usally takes on a n aggressive tone; the slap on the butt or punch on the arm.
And too, since gentle physical contact between men always has the 'threat' of penetration and hence 'dominance', there may be a tendency of males to avoid activity like that. Among most species, the male drive towards dominance of females and other males is a driving force of life.
Female/ female relationships, whether platonic or sexual, don't seem to be mostly about dominance but about bonding.
Finally.... And as I've done before, I gotta state that I'm way against the idea of a 2 dimensional idea of sexuality, the sliding scale from hetero to homo. It doesn't cover so many options that are visible right here on this site. Nor can it begin to explain to my satisfaction all the permutations of attraction that we witness here. If I remember after I get caffeinated this morning, I'll start a thread asking for a discussion of this non-inclusive theory that so many of us subscribe to by default. (If I forget, please somebody else do it, okay?)
It may be that the very word "bi-sexual" re-inforces our acceptance of the idea of an either/or choice. "Bi" inferring only 2 , not a multiplicity of options. Where's the theory that takes in "a-", "pan-", "androgyne" and others that escape me right now?
And finally finally...Don't know much about primate taxonomy, but most researchers don't call baboons 'monkeys', even though they do fit somewhere out there on the edges of the 'primate' branch. That general term is usually saved for the New and Old World apes, from the tiny marmosets to chimps and bonobos. (But I think the chimps and bonobos and orangs and gorillas would still find it perjoritive! :D)
Whew!
Bi does not constitute finding a male dressed in female attire attractive. I find that to be a personal preference. Just because its feminine doesn't mean a bi or gay woman will find it attractive. There are many who prefer dating a more masculine female. So one does not guarantee another.http://www.salon.com/mwt/broadsheet/...ity/index.html
If so, then how come so many say they're not attracted to us? Maybe we're just not 'woman enough' for them?
I honestly don't feel my sexuality plays a huge part in my attraction to Tgurls. I base my affections on the personality, not the physical presentation. I feel being bi only allows us any easier acceptance of it based on the fact that we are attracted to either gender. But again, its no guarantee. Just as its no guarantee that because its a female a straight male is attracted to it.
I also wish to state, that comments which generalize all woman as being even "partially" bi are rather like saying all men are "partially" bi. Yes, women can show affection to each other more openly and less inhibited, but it is NOT a sexual affection. Most women don't worry about carrying the "gay stigma" as much as most men do, so our display of affection is far more open.
I believe that many women who experiment in same gender sex do so either out of pure curiosity (which is not being bi) or out of the attention it often brings from male admirers.
I repeat... we know from puberty on who and what we are attracted to just like heterosexuals. Straight people don't question their sexuality, they know they are straight. Neither do we, we know we are bi/gay. Our questions come in the form of whether or not to tell others, if we can live with how society views us and if we feel the overwhelming "obligation" to our family/friends to be "normal" outweighs our desire to be ourselves and live as we really want to.
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[SIZE="3"]"We're all born naked. Everything we wear is drag," said Boy George
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This was in the New York Times yesterday. I put a copy on my web site:
What Women Want (Maybe)
"All" is a very limiting word. No group is "all" anything. :2c:Are all women a little bit bi?
But why is the rum gone?! - Capt. Jack Sparrow[SIZE="1"]Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl[/SIZE]
Why is the rum always gone? - Capt. Jack Sparrow[SIZE="1"]Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest[/SIZE]
Why is all but the rum gone? No, the rum's gone too . . .- [SIZE="1"]Pirates of the Caribbean: At World End[/SIZE]
[SIZE="3"]Lex on the Beach[/SIZE]. . . [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
Isn't it obvious? ok I'll state the obviousIf so, then how come so many say they're not attracted to us? Maybe we're just not 'woman enough' for them?which is probably why they aren't attracted to you.
Administrator
Missing my Libra babe Sherlyn, I hope she's rocking up there with the angels
Missing our Rianna, doesn't seem right, gone to early, hope she's partying with Sherlyn
Bonobos have also been documented having sexual relationships for pleasure (as opposed for just procreation) and also having homosexual relationships. I also seem to recall reading somewhere that lesbian relationships were far more common among bonobos than gay relationships.
Anyway, sex researchers often bring up bonobos because they are very closesly related to us and are the only animal besides man that exhibits such variety in sexuality (i.e. promiscuity, homosexuality, etc.)
This article is very revealing and certainly pertinant to this thread! Thank u for posting this, Yvonne.
I have never been quite able to understand bisexuality. On the one hand, traditionally "female" means; soft, smooth, silky, demure, sweet smelling, gentle, patient, etc.
On the other hand, traditionally "male" means; rough, course, crude, stinky, hairy, demanding, with a temper, etc.
If women can put up with "males", much less be attracted to them, I think I can understand bi women. Because who wouldn't be attracted to a traditionally "female" woman?
But how can men, attracted to traditional "females", also be attracted to traditional "males"? Sorry, I just don't get that!
U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.
Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!
*raises hand*
I wouldn't call your description of either "traditional" - more like stereotypical. I've seen plenty of exceptions to both of those depictions.
But why is the rum gone?! - Capt. Jack Sparrow
Why is the rum always gone? - Capt. Jack Sparrow
Why is all but the rum gone? No, the rum's gone too . . .
[SIZE="3"]Lex on the Beach[/SIZE]. . . [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
I personally believe in the sliding scale of sexuality. But I also believe that most people do not know they could slide and stay firmly placed where ever they are when they go into puberty.
Now, as to the whole "women are more likely to be bi thing". There is a factor that is very important in this: in our society sex and in particular the female figure is used to sell everything ( or so it seems ). All people, men or women are bombarded with advertising daily, and a lot of it pushes a certain "look" via images of beautiful women. It encourages the viewer to be attracted and feel that if they bought that product, that somehow, that woman would be "theirs". I think that it is very close to impossible to not be affected by these ads. The result of this is that we are all taught to be attracted to an idealized beautiful woman. In many cases it is a subtle message. Easy to "read" the message and not quite realize the method used to sell you products. So, no big surprise if women find a low level attraction to idealized females is part of their makeup -- "you are what you eat". I do not think that so many of them are "bi", but they are attracted to this idealized female. This could easily have the side effect of making it easier for women to become "bi-curious".
Yes, there are also idealized men in many ads, but not nearly as many as women.
Charlene
Last edited by CharleneT; 06-13-2008 at 12:39 PM.
Kat can spit like a sailor, I'll let her know she's not "traditionally female".
My sailor son Chris is the nicest, most caring man I know, I'll relay the same message to him.On the other hand, traditionally "male" means; rough, course, crude, stinky, hairy, demanding, with a temper, etc.
That's okay, I don't get your reasoning either.If women can put up with "males", much less be attracted to them, I think I can understand bi women. Because who wouldn't be attracted to a traditionally "female" woman?
But how can men, attracted to traditional "females", also be attracted to traditional "males"? Sorry, I just don't get that!
Karen Starlene
And I have never been able to understand heterosexuality... thankfully.
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
[SIZE="3"]"We're all born naked. Everything we wear is drag," said Boy George
[/SIZE]
i could help you understand
:donut:i could help you understand
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
[SIZE="3"]"We're all born naked. Everything we wear is drag," said Boy George
[/SIZE]
I'm afraid the only activity that women could do that might turn me on is if I could watch them clean my house.
Okay, seriously. It's never a good thing to say "all" when referring to any type of behavior, preference, expression of gender, etc. Different women get turned on by different stuff. If you want to really know what turns a particular woman on (or man, for that matter), just ask 'em!
As for me personally, I've watched lots of different critters get it on (both on the boob tube and in real life) and it's never done a thing for me. Bummer. And here I've been missing out! Who needs porn . . . I could've just been watching "Wild Kingdom" to get my jollies . . . but alas, no reaction . . . .
Hmmm . . . I wonder if Marlin Perkins ever got "hot and bothered" out there in the wild.
I can think of a real smart A-55 answer for that, but it would be riding too close if not over the edge of what is appropriate posting in the forums.http://www.salon.com/mwt/broadsheet/...ity/index.html
If so, then how come so many say they're not attracted to us? Maybe we're just not 'woman enough' for them?
On a serious note, I know several lesbians and they want a woman woman and not a CD or a TG that hasn't fully transitioned yet. I'm not saying that it is right or wrong or even makes any sense, but that is the way it seems to be.
If I had to hazard a guess; I would say it is because of all the misconceptions out there about crossdresser and the transgendered, but as more and more of us come out and become more and more public. I think a lot of doors will open and a lot of walls will come down as people in general become educated as to who we really are and not look at us as a mess of perverts and etc.
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