Dead ignorant.Originally Posted by marso2584
hi all...
So i not understand why people related crossdresser to gay?
Dead ignorant.hi all...
So i not understand why people related crossdresser to gay?
That confuses ME also It does not make sense.
This CD=gay thing IS simply explained, however. School kids are told that "a Queer"(gay) is a guy who thinks he is a woman--or wants to be a woman.---Hey, I was told this too. Usually the info comes from a peer or a peer's equally ignorant older brother. Sometimes a teacher might say that in response to a student's question "a man who is like a woman" without alluding to like a woman in a SEXUALITY sense---naturally over the kid's head,who takes it more litterally.
Most people grow to adulthood,never bothering to consult a more authorative source (like a book or dictionary) and continue to beleive the kid's definition---whether or not it makes sense. Of course most DO know that gays like to have sex with other guys, but thats "just something else they do"---not the primary (to them) determination of "gayness"
Laughably sad or ironic, in a reverse situation, I have heard of guys who have homosex in public restrooms, etc,, and swear that they are NOT "gay' because they do not cross dress.--Such ignorance cuts both ways.
Fortunately, I was a "book kid" and I learned the proper definition of homosexual (gay) early on enough not to let it confuse me too much---as I DID CD--so I knew the difference.
Last edited by MarinaTwelve200; 08-11-2008 at 10:37 PM.
Thank you Sally, just whay I wanted to say! But for most that would mean looking into it deeper, most are to lazy to look beyond the surface.
Tina B.
hmm..now i getting some understanding of how others think about CD
Who cares? Just tell them "Yes, I'm gay. Now bugger off!"
Hi there
Short answer to that one honey is that some of you do, and you broadcast it to the world on web sites. I have to say as much as I love the CD community you hardly do yourselves any favours. There has been in the past a lot of talk about male admirers and wondering what it would like to be out with a Regular guy. For those of us who understand the community thats not so shocking but to a world who are still in ignorance that is Gay. Who was it who was boasting about his strip tease on the Web cam the other day. Now dont get me wrong I am not criticising so I dont want any scathing PMs, however you have got to admit that these type of things are bound to make people think twice about what CDing and this alternative life style is all about. Maybe thats not a bad thing just so long as they get a balanced view and dont think that all CDs are the same because they have based their opinion on one or two who are a tad more adventurous with thier sexuality.
Take care
Bev
Last edited by Bev06 GG; 08-12-2008 at 02:27 AM.
Understatement of the yearthere's something about man not being masculine that bothers people.
If you ever read Amy Bloom's book, 'Normal', there's a good passage in there about the problem that heterosexual crossdressers face.
Basically they are marginal to every other 'group'. She says, rather cleverly "they are marginal among heterosexual men, marginal among other men who wear women's clothes, marginal in the community of sexual minorities, and completely acceptable only to fetishists".
So we don't register very clearly on anybody's radar. They can't quite get what we are, so they drop us in the nearest category that makes any sense to them.
And sadly the confusion exists even in the psychology profession. Surprising few counsellors and psychologists are fully conversant with the hetero CD condition. So it's not really surprising if the man in the street gets it wrong.
[SIZE="2"]Always be true to yourself because the people who matter don’t mind, and the people who mind don’t matter.[/SIZE]
Two reasons:
1.) Ignorance.
2.) People like Jeffree Star (OMG I HATE him... >_>).
I find that Amy Bloom is very hostile towards crossdressers, especially hetero crossdressers, almost to the point of being "racist." She does not do her research and speaks of crossdressing from an outsider's point of view. Everything I have read by her on the subject seems intentionally designed to disparage hetero crossdressers.
We are men,
dressing like a woman,
acting like a woman,
maybe some of us may want to experience other life experiences as a woman,
"to each their own"
we might be straight, we might be bi , we might be gay....
but,damn, don't our legs look fantastic in high heel pumps?
Well I think Bev and Ruth (quoting this Amy Bloom person) make important points that the largely hetero membership here seems to forget.
There are thousands of sexuallly oriented trannie websites out there that get zillions of hits every week. It's almost impossible to do an unfiltered Google search for anything without coming up with dozens of those little pictures showing some kind of sexual activity going on. Media portrayals of us as outrageous flamers and sex-crazed strange-ohs far outnumber portrayals of us as responsible citzens.
And the "stars" of all those websites and Springer programs are not likely to be represented here. We have some gay members, and I can understand their frustration with a lot of the (sometimes unintentional, sometimes not) homophobic stuff that gets posted here. In my mind, they are actually among our bravest members. They stick around and try to get across the gender/sexuality difference idea against even the overwhelmng odds they find here!
Face it, folks. Like Sterling says, our "minority of a minority" will make no headway with public acceptance until we get a lot more visible out in the world to counterbalance the onslaught of unacceptable images.
Maybe my grand kids would see it ( if I had any) but we won't!
Do your best, though, to educate the folks you do come into contact with.
Mighty oaks from little acorns...etc.
Every single post here, summed up in a nutshell. Let's get this in Latin so it looks official.
Well I think if you XDress you should be happy..
Yvonne, I'd say Amy Bloom's view is worth looking at precisely because she is an outsider to the CD scene, but still takes an interest. And I would describe her as unsympathetic rather than downright hostile.
But we have to be tough enough to withstand that sort of scrutiny without wilting.
And at the end of the day she does acknowledge us, and doesn't make the sort of category mistakes that so many others do.
[SIZE="2"]Always be true to yourself because the people who matter don’t mind, and the people who mind don’t matter.[/SIZE]
Lisa gets it.Hi all! To the general masses, gay encompasses ANYTHING that a man may say, do or wear in an effeminate manner. It's a stereotype....an automatic label that even education to the nth degree may not truly alleviate. "That's just how we were raised" is an automatic answer to any belief or action that does not follow the so-called mainstream.....or "NORMAL" as many like to say!!!!!(Frankly, I'm surprised but pleased that men wearing earrings has finally become so acceptable.)
Its not you that is misunderstood when this is said to you... its what being a gay male is that is being misunderstood.
[SIZE="3"]Unfortunately, I think Bev is correct on this one... some CDs bring this on themselves and that reflects on the entire group.
Read some of the posts here... "I got whisteld at," "I'd like to curl up in some guy's arms..." etc. That sounds a little out of the norm to me but it's what others see.
Lacy[/SIZE]
what are you saying, that if some like to curl up in a guys arms, it reflects badly on you?
have a word with yourself
Whereas the norm would be...
For us, the idea that gender, physical sex and sexuality are separate isn't new (or shouldn't be). But for the vast majority in society, they are aligned - why is it surprising that, for them, that sets their expectations?
Nicki
[SIZE="1"]Moi?[/SIZE]
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