Thanks, everyone, for the resurgence of interest in my question! I sort of burnt out a bit just in the asking of it; and I've been burning myself out in other ways in the volunteer technical support that I do (so many people needing help... so many people asking the wrong questions, who have to be educated as to why their question was wrong and what they need to examine in order to get to a right question...)
I need to start getting ready for work in a few minutes (should have started already) so I'll just add something quick here:
Especially in the earlier responses, a number of people were implicitly making a dichotomy, a supposition that a male who wears womens' clothes is either cross-dresser or transsexual, with no possibility between the two, and no other choice; and thus that if I am not transsexual then (by the law of the excluded middle), I must be a cross-dresser. But the core parts of my question are about the other possibilities, the "two-spirited", the "bi-gendered", the androgyne, and so on: if a person suspects (or believes) that they might incorporate significant aspects of both male and female, then how to know?
(Sorry, additional response will have to wait for later.)
