Up until now, I haven't told my SO about my dressing. As of today, we've been engaged for a year, and in a couple of weeks we will have been together for 3 years. Up until this past 6 months, I haven't done any dressing since I met her, except on the rare night when I sneak a few clothes from a GG family member's room and return them the next day. But, since the middle of summer, I've been CDing again, and more, and been more interested and involved in it: I've joined this forum, and I've even bought my first clothes for myself and would have bought more by now and have a small wardrobe if I had the space and the money.

When we first got together, it had been years since I'd done any dressing, though I'd had the occasional mild desire or curiosity about it. I figured it was more-or-less a phase from when I was younger and didn't think I needed to tell her about it. Now, with this resurgence, I'm positive that I definitely do need to tell her, and sooner rather than later. I *think* that she'll be at least relatively accepting of it, at least I hope so. She takes me the way I am in most other ways.

Anyway, with the background info out of the way, on to what this thread is REALLY about. Since I got my own panties and joined this forum, I've been dropping at least mild hints about this kind of stuff, hoping to try to gauge her reaction a little bit in preparation for telling her. I've watched a couple of CD/TG related anime, which I've given to her and she's watched also (at least one of them) and fairly enjoyed. She knows I'm interested in the whole aspects of playing with gender, and she's fine with that from what I can tell. She once asked me, if I could switch gender for day, and then go back to how everything was before afterward, would I, and when I told her "heck yeah", she said she would too. Through some strange thread of conversation this past weekend, body hair came up, and I told her how I don't mind most of my body hair, but really don't like some of it, like my upper-leg hair. She jokingly suggested that I shave it all off, and it was DEFINITELY jokingly, as she said immediately afterward something to the effect of, "that would be weird, please don't".

Every time I see her (only on the weekends), I feel more and more like I need to and want to tell her. I just can't bring myself to do it yet, partly because I'm afraid of loosing her, and partly because she's very stressed right now (lots of things happening). I've repeatedly thought about telling her something like "there's something really important that I need to talk to you about, but I can't tell you yet because now's not a good time and I'm scared, but don't worry, it's nothing urgent", but I can't decide if that would be a good idea or not. I think it'd make me feel more comfortable for now, until I do tell her, that at least she knows there's something, and it'd give me a good way to start the conversation when I do tell her: "Remember that thing I told you I needed to talk to you about..." On the other hand, I'm afraid that it'll make her SUPER nervous and uneasy and worried, and that she'll try to get me to tell her sooner.

I guess I'm just looking for advice or reassurance. Knowing that I'm going to be telling her in the relatively-near future, probably the next month or two depending on her stress level, should I keep dropping hints, should I tell her something's up, should I keep it totally under wraps for now, should I just go ahead and tell her, should I....? As I'm sure everyone else on here who's told an SO was, I'm ridiculously nervous and scared, but I'll definitely get over those to tell her, because I know how much more comfortable everything will be afterward. I've read the sticky on how to tell her, and I'll be referring back to it frequently before I tell her. I just can't decide how to handle the time between now and when I out myself.

Any thoughts or advice at all would be greatly appreciated. Thanks sisters.

PS: sorry for the short novel, this has been on my mind almost constantly for weeks and I had a lot to say...