Yes Nicole! I have always felt the same way. I dress, and emulate all the mannerisms I can. But at some point, the eroticism is too great, and I proceed to masturbation -- often with fantasies. When that is over, I have always wanted to get out of the clothes and stop it all. In the past, I felt guilt over all this right afterwards. And my energy switches over to the masculine -- and I feel a completer connection with my masculine right afterwards.
I wish I can maintain the feminine for longer periods... and I hope to do this.
Greater and deeper acceptance is needed. My wife is supportive that i find that greater acceptance -- go deep into it, and see what comes out.
She's a good practising psychotherapist...
