Nigella,
what a beautiful simple post. Honest direct and too the point.
My wife is supportive and found out the hard way coming home from church earlier than expected and finding me dressed. That was 36 years ago. We're still together.
The worse of the worse that I personally know of is a fellow CD who was in our club 15 years ago. He was a merchant marine sea captan aboard a frieghter. He'd be away for 3 months at sea at which time his unsuspecting wife found his stash and photos of him dressed and made up as a black woman (his alter ego.)
Shocked beyond belief and without a clue, she had a process server waiting for him at the airport on his return and slap him divorce proceeding papers.
He was locked out of his house, she told him (on phone) that she sold all his personal belongings and even his car. His first night back resulted in a lonely stay in a motel alone.
He lost everthing. His wife, his daugther and her,custody (now adopted by new husband,) and his home.
Tell Her!!!!!

Megan