Quote Originally Posted by MarcieM View Post
That's the whole deal. Nobody really knows how to help someone in this situation find peace. Not therapists, other CD's, etc. I can't count the number of times I've had someone tell me "well, just accept yourself". Well, duh...it doesn't take a brain surgeon to figure that out. The million dollar question is - how do we do that when every fiber of our being tells us CD-ing is wrong? Is CD-ing really worth the shame, guilt, self-loathing it brings upon us? or is it easier to just not CD? There is no easy answer. And no easy explanation.
No, there's no easy, instant, answer - but there is an answer? Many of us have found it.. No one can do it for you (although they can help), and it may take you a few years, but you have to want to change and then go about trying - over and over again, one small step at a time? Often the acceptance of others comes before acceptance of self.

Honestly? You don't sound as if you really want to - that you're comfortable (or too worried of change) where you are..

Quote Originally Posted by curse within View Post
How would you answer or support that?
Well there's no point in telling lies, is there? It's not going to go away, there is no pill - so pretending the elephant isn't in the room isn't a workable long-term answer?

Relationships don't work well on lies and hiding part of yourself, so the regular advice here would be 'come out and both of you start accepting yourself as you really are'...

There are plenty of life events that have to be accepted, in a similar way - try dealing with life-threatening illnesses, for a start?


There is a compromise position that you can live with (it varys for every individual). But you can't find it unless you go looking for it in the first place?