Marcie, it doesn't seem like you have or understood all of the information. Kimberly hasn't even been harrassed (yet) and let's hope that doesn't happen. She already has co-workers who are supporting her in addition to management. Obviously, this isn't a case of "everyone harrassing at every opportunity" as you basically put it. Personally, I think it may be a better idea to go full femme but this isn't about what I want or you want but what Kimberly wants. There is someone at my job who is quite androgynous but as far as I'm aware he prefers to be treated as male and wears mostly male clothing except that he does wear makeup. Nobody has been harrassing him. I do have to say when you have some tenure in a company it helps. If you have been around longer than most others at work you have a sense of authority over them although only symbolically. Newbies aren't likely to cause problems for an old-timer because if the person has stuck around so long then the conclusion is generally made that the company respects them as a valuable asset.

I'd like to show up to work full femme but I'm not at that point yet. A lot of transgender people do transition slowly on the job because that is what they feel comfortable with. Gradual changes usally cause less of a shock or resistance than sudden changes. For instance, I go to work every day in drab but since April I have been keeping my arms shaved (among other areas) and anyone who cares to pay attention since I wear short-sleeved shirts would notice that my arms are too smooth and hairless for it to be simply coincidence. I have also been growing my hair out and it is almost to the level of being able to put it in a ponytail and I'm even starting to have bangs come down the sides of my head to some degree. These are tiny and slow changes that only get minimal notice. Perhaps the next thing will be doing my nails. I may do one thing at time and go from presenting as male to androgynous to eventually female but I'm not going to do a whole lot at once. You'd be surprised how when you cook the frog slowly it doesn't notice. Kimberly wasn't mentioning problems with multiple people at work so obviously her changes are probably barely noticed by the majority, noticed by some and accepted or at least not resisted, but only one single individual who has an issue with it. That's why your points about what society thinks, violence, etc. don't really make sense here because we are talking about one individual and not like the whole workplace is against her. Britney