No one ever addressed the notion that it specifically was taboo... somehow I just accepted a socialized dictum that it was so. Crossdressing was laughed at as humorous in movies, ridiculed in jokes, and derided in myriad man-to-man and boy-to-boy comments. So there I was, stuck in that colored environment.
And it stays in my mind, all of the time - except when I am alone, and making up in front of my mirror. In those moments, I am not aware of being "bad".
"Bad", inappropriate, unwanted, less-than, a lot of unspecific fears, those are what are in my mind when it is time for me to step out of my car.... A non-specific dictum, an unspoken rule, that "they" have laid out, and I seem to be unable to escape.
