Congrats on your moment of revelation. Hopefully there will be more to come. But this is an important first step to unlearning bad habits that come from a closeted lifestyle, namely depositing your femininity into a separate container.
Containing feelings is a method typically deployed to limit psychological damage or constrain destructive behavior. By keeping our femininity separate from our male selves, CDs are acknowledging the two are incompatible or undesirable to be merged into one. In other words we are kowtowing to society's prejudices.
Unlearning this mode of thought will allow you to accept yourself and understand that an effeminate male really is a normal and healthy state of existence - that is not a prep talk for the CD community to feel better about themselves. Eventually once you dismantle the internal divisions you will comprehend you do not even need the clothes to feel feminine nor do you need to seek validation from others asking them to accept your femininity. You can be yourself and exhibit your feelings in any manner you see fit.
