Hi Rebecca-
I understand your concern about not wanting to cause your loved ones any further distress if you pass away unexpectedly, it shows a good deal about you as a person. If you don't mind, let me ask you this. If, heaven forbid, you suffered a long term and finally fatal illness, would you tell them then? As a sort of deathbed confession? As though being who you are were something shameful or wrong? As though you had lived your life like John Wayne Gacey and had bodies buried in the crawl space? Truly, what is there to be ashamed of?
Yes, I know that everyone's circumstances are different and for so many of us it precludes coming out to anyone. Believe me, please, I do understand and have many friends who live in those circumstances. I am not, in any way, an advocate of disclosure just because. Luckily for me I have an understanding and supportive spouse, a son who knows but doesn't care to see his Pops in a dress, and many friends, both gg and guys who support and understand it or just don't much care one way or another. Speaking for myself, though I am not 24/7, if anyone notices or makes a comment, it's either a reasoned, thoughtful, explanation of what being TG is about, or an eff off, buster, it ain't none of your beeswax.
Well, as usual, I have gone on and on. Sorry, Rebecca. For what it's worth, I think you should just come out. It brings tremendous peace of mind. If you can't, for whatever reasons seem right to you, then a letter left behind with your paraphenalia would be the best thing. I think they would be mourning your passing and missing you more than worrying about whatever minor, in the grand scheme of things, you did in your spare time.
Hugs...Joni Mari
