Believe me when I say that a great many of us here know exactly what you are talking about as we have "been there, done that". A great many of us have had to live double lives; one as a man, the other as a woman (so to speak).
This is not always easy and is often frustrating. One has to consider a number of factors when deciding how to best handle this situation. Not everyone will make the same choices.
The "good news" is that you are not alone and that many of us understand and are sympathetic.
Good luck!
