Hi Kelly-
No, I don't think you're making a big deal out of nothing. Let me start by saying your boyfriend is very lucky to have someone like you in his life, someone who is willing to be accepting and make the effort to understand. It's not easy for you and it's not easy for him, you're a pretty special person.
As far as the going in to change clothes when you were arguing, yeah maybe it was some sort of gender role stereotyping thing, but perhaps more likely it was just that he has this tendency a lot of us tgirls have to feel a generalized guilt about our dressing and to feel, unconsciously, that this is the real source of a disagreement and that if we dress in our assigned gender role it will make it go away or remove a source of tension.
Out of curiosity, have you mentioned to him how the incident made you feel? Does he act in your day to day relationship as though he thinks men are superior somehow to women in general just by virtue of the fact that they're men?
Kelly, I wish you both the very best of luck, it's not an easy journey, hopefully it will make your relationship stronger.
Hugs...Joni Mari
