Divorce, kids and crossdressing

[giuseppina]

I meant that in our wildest dreams we thought this would get this complicated and she would treat him this way. We figured since she was the one with wrong-doing, they don't have any assets just bills he is paying for entirely anyway, this was to agree kids visitation and child support and done deal. He even took the case to TN but UT would have jurisdiction as well...they lived here as married for the last few years when she decided to return to her hometown. But then again, he thought she would skip court (no money for traveling expenses) and this would drag too long. Imagine that!!! Were we naive or what?

This didn't had to be this hard and all this money spent. Why she brought up his Cding? They are separated...Why does it matter? Kids behalf? Nah, vengeance is the real mood. She knows he's a great dad.

Welcome to the world of divorces. :D :brolleyes:

Well BF has a job we can go slowly but steady as long as we need too...

Good for him. But no more missing court dates!

she can't say the same, she's doesn't want to work, she's basically paying with the child support and help from her family members, that eventually won't last.

That’s exactly what I am talking about with the ‘fire with fire’ comment. Unless she has a certificate of disability or the equivalent from a medical doctor or a list of hundreds of potential employers that have received her resume, this is evidence of unwillingness to take responsibility for the children and thus lack of fitness to be a parent. An accusation of failing to provide the necessities of life is probably going too far, but a cagey barrister might do just that to destabilise a witness on the stand.

It’s against my nature and probably yours, but you and your husband must, if you haven’t done so already, find your hard noses and selfishly, cynically, and shamelessly use this kind of thing to destroy the ex’s credibility. You and your husband, on the other hand, must be beyond reproach.

The same sort of thing can be used to expose gaps in an expert witness’s qualifications. Yes, I’m being hard-nosed here.

A word or two about the articles I found, for you and others in your situation:

I found these items with search terms of “crossdress” and “journal” (no enclosing quotes) and looking at the first 500 or so results. You will get more results with “transvestism” and “journal” that “crossdress” doesn’t pick up. The term “journal” eliminated most of the p**n and brought the academic journal articles closer to the top. Unfortunately, it didn’t get rid of a large amount of mostly innocuous but irrelevant material.

It’s a safe bet that the journals publishing the papers I found contain other papers of interest in other issues. Journals are published at regular intervals and called periodicals in libraries.

The list of references at the end of research papers is sometimes more valuable than the content. Obtaining copies of preceding work is part of the process.

University library catalogues are another great index to relevant material. Most if not all their “card catalogues” are posted and searchable on the internet, or at least they are near where I live. There are computerised indices of journal and conference papers available inside the library building(s), but usage may be restricted to students and faculty. I’ve taken the attitude that if things are open for use, I quietly and discreetly use the resources until I’m caught. That hasn’t happened, yet. If use of the search engines requires a password, a stroll through the periodical stacks may provide the names of journals you can search at home over the internet. Look for “sex” , “gender” and anything else that catches your eye in the titles.

I will look into the articles...Ive been googling like mad. There's not much of cding cases in TN. And according to the lawyer is the first deligitimize case in that county as well In this day and age ppl don't do DNA there?

It would be to your advantage to cast your net wider than your home state for case law. If you win your case, it may be precedent setting in your county, but I strongly suspect there are others before you that won similar cases. Case law depends very strongly on preceding decisions. There are others on the forum who have won custody despite male crossdressing. I’m not sure they would appreciate me naming names, and besides, I don’t remember who they are.

I'm not a lawyer, but it seems to me that you are going to have to provide a solid reason for breaking precedent to win your case. Debunking societal stereotypes is required. These and other journal papers may help, but there probably isn't a substitute for an expert witness. Yes, it will be expensive and IMO it's worth looking into.

Thank you all for your words of support and Giuseppina for your help!!!!

You’re welcome.

Cheers
Giuseppina

Another idea: Perhaps the judge could light a fire under the ex by ordering her to look for work.