I have some thoughts on this.

Stop being a part of the problem and start being a part of the solution.

Stop talking and start listening. REALLY listening. Stop hearing what you think she's saying and start hearing what she IS saying. She doesn’t think you are a bad person, she’s struggling to accept this. Stop jumping to conclusions…stop turning the conversation back to yourself. Have you ever once asked her what she’s thinking? Did you listen to what she said or what you think she said?

You need to realize that you are asking her to change some strong beliefs that have been instilled in her since she was very very young. You tell her that you can't change, that this is part of who you are. But you seem to forget that you are asking her to change who she is. She doesn’t want to give up certain things like going to church. But you feel uncomfortable, that’s not her problem, it yours. Has this been a problem all along, or just come up since you told her.

Help her out in every way that you can. EVERY WAY. Get off your butt and clean the house!! The washer's broken but the laundry still needs to get done. The last thing she wants to do after 10-11 hours at work is go to the laundry mat. The kids need clean clothes to go to school in, she needs clean clothes to go to work in.

Get over the “poor me” attitude. Lower your voice, the kids can hear you. This is not the right way for them to find out. They don’t need to know this.

This is not about “you”. This is about a family. There are 6 people in your house, not 1. 4 of them are discovering who they are, struggling themselves to find their place in this world. They look to you as a part of them. They respond to the way you are acting whether it’s negative or positive. Through you, they find themselves. Is the picture you portray really who you want them to be?

Was your marriage as loving as you think it was? Was your wife really as happy as you say she was?

If you haven’t figured it out already, I am your wife.