detailed in my soon to be published book available at better bookstores everywhere for only $39.95. :D

Seriously, there have been many excellent suggestions posted here.

Quote Originally Posted by JulieC View Post
I think I would feel less latent fear if I knew, in more than a passing way, how a person gets from point A where everything is wonderful in a marriage to point Z where it all turned to crap, the divorce is final, and you're doing the post mortem. Not that there's one path to get to point Z. If I knew the paths, I could more easily recognize them for what they are, more readily avoid them.
Let's say you need to drive 3,000 miles cross country. Do you just jump in your car and point it in the direction you are going? Or do you get out maps, plan your trip, and make sure your car is operating properly before you start? What happens if you run into bad weather, traffic accidents, or construction detours?

One of the key success factors to anything, not just marriage, is attitude. Good things seem to come from a healthy, positive attitude.
So, it comes to how could I screw this up and how do I avoid that? With regards to CDing, how could I screw this up with CDing 20 years into the future?

I don't have the answers. I don't really think anyone does. Many of us have stories to tell, and it's incredibly helpful to read them.

I've been wanting to put this out there for a long time now, but didn't know how to do it.
One of the things you can do is to share your fear with your wife. I think you NEED to share your fear with your wife. The purpose of the sharing is not to hear her say that you have nothing to be afraid of... She doesn't have to say anything at all... She, too, may have the same fear but is unwilling or unable to express it...

I was very afraid of expressing my fear of screwing up badly, of losing my wife. This was my biggest fear and it eventually consumed me. I became so afraid that I would never discuss anything that I thought might disturb my wife. This happened even though my wife became very accepting of my crossdressing. I often backed down during most arguments leaving them unresolved only to fester and burst open later. My fear controlled me instead of me controlling my fear.

By sharing your fears, your dreams, your hopes, and your thoughts with your wife your partnership is strengthened and issues don't seem as large and threatening when you are working TOGETHER.

Keeping your fears inside you allows them to become larger than they really are and will eventually drive the wedge between you that you want to avoid.

Robyn P.