Hi Jenna. I read your posts. I have just lived through a situation like yours. I moved all Corrine's stuff to a storage unit. Separated Corrine from the family as best I could. Don't leave a paper trail! Deal with the controlling bitch as her husband. It's war Jenna. Your fighting for everything you've worked for. Kids, house, sanity. Then I let the war begin. Go for all of it. Take the house, the kids, the car and whatever else you worked for. My ex tried to use the cd thing against me too. None of her business. She made her choice. She wants to live in a box that is her choice but she doesn't have the right to make you live in her box. I got the kids 50/50, the house and the car. I let her have everything else. Good riddens! My strategy is one battle at a time. First deal with the bitch. Get her out of your life and out of your head. You will be in a more stable environment to decide how to proceed with your children. Age has a lot to do with that. It's different for everyone. Use your best judgment. Don't take it sitting down! She will tell the kids about you so start thinking about it now. She'll do it out of spite. We've hid this part of our lives for so long that it should be easy for you to keep doing it. Do not get a conscience now. Wait till your divorced then decide if you want to tell your kids, friends etc. Custody will be 50/50 if you live in one of the more "normal" states. If you live in one of the few backward rednecks states left I feel for you. Take comfort that Jenna will survive and be in a much better position when it's over. Until then you need to think tactically and as far forward as possible. Do not be nice! Ever! If she doesn't like it then tell her to pack her shit and get out. The soon to be ex will take advantage of you and will have no second thoughts. If she goes, immediately change every lock to your house. Let your kids see her whenever they want. In fact, be proactive and tell them to see her or call her, whatever. This is just the beginning. Good Luck!