For Those Who Can't "Pass"

[kellycan27]

Actually I never said whether I pass or not ... rather that acceptance is better in general because it is easier to reach (as a goal). I was speaking in general terms. I didn't really "tweak" the definition, I didn't even give one. I do think that there isn't a firm definition of "passing" - which it would seem we agree on ? As for people who do pass saying that they think it is over rated, I know a couple of post-op MTF's and one post-op FTM here who pass perfectly and all have often said it is over rated. One in particular doesn't really believe you should "try" but rather just be who you are. Sort-of "if you pass you pass and if you don't you don't" attitude.

BUT I agree that in general that those who don't think that they pass well are not likely to see it as very important. Who wants to think negatively about a subject that is both subjective AND so personal ??

First of all... if you re-read my post I did in fact say that I was using "you" in the "general" sense and that I wasn't referring to "you" personally.
Most of us who do pass, didn't just pass, we had to work at it. Your friend who does pass was either born passable, or had to put a lot of work into it.
Having such a cavalier attitude .. you shouldn't try, or a if you pass you pass attitude is very easy to say if you do in fact pass. I wonder if her attitude would be the same if she didn't pass. There isn't anything wrong with tweaking the definition to fit your needs if it in fact helps you do what you like to do, that's where the subjective comes in. It's all good! Just different interpetations of passing.

[CharleneT]

First of all... if you re-read my post I did in fact say that I was using "you" in the "general" sense and that I wasn't referring to "you" personally.
Most of us who do pass, didn't just pass, we had to work at it. Your friend who does pass was either born passable, or had to put a lot of work into it.
Having such a cavalier attitude .. you shouldn't try, or a if you pass you pass attitude is very easy to say if you do in fact pass. I wonder if her attitude would be the same if she didn't pass. There isn't anything wrong with tweaking the definition to fit your needs if it in fact helps you do what you like to do, that's where the subjective comes in. It's all good! Just different interpetations of passing.

I did notice that ...but got mixed up about which "You" you were refering too Sorry.

My friends have all worked quite hard at "passing". In the case of one, a lot of FFS as well. The FTM less so, but she is younger and everything in this subject is easier then.

"I wonder if her attitude would be the same if she didn't pass."

I was giving examples in answer to your statement that people who do pass don't say that passing is over rated. Some do though... I think people's opinions about "passing" are based more in their personality than their ability. At least with those who've had been at it for a decent amount of time.

ONE thing for SURE: I think the term has lost useful meaning, except at a personal level ... ie, "I think I'm passing well these days..."