I disagree with Shikyo. Paula's wife did not know about the crossdressing initially. When he wanted to wear women's underwear she agreed because it could easily have fallen into the category of "sex play". However, when he admitted to being a crossdresser he crossed the line and she did not sign up for that. As a crossdresser myself I easily see why it would not be appealing for a wife. Many marriages end up in divorce over this proclivity; many couples are in therapy because of it, attempting to save their marriages. Unless the crossdresser admits to the crossdressing before any commitments are made, he has absolutely no right to demand acceptance, or even expect it.
Karren Hutton is right on. Family first. If a habit or activity is injurious to a relationship it should be eliminated or, if acceptable to both parties, at least curtailed. It is paramount that the spouse know what is going on with the crossdressing. An unknowing spouse, upon discovering a cache' of women's clothing and then learning they're her husband's clothes, is hit with a tsunami of information which, I believe in most cases, harms or destroys the marriage.
