Quote Originally Posted by Katesback View Post
Yes it is a support group, yes it is supposed to be helpful, yes I am VERY realistic, yes sometimes the truth is far away from dreamland, YES I have and continue to be VERY supportive of all trans people by encouraging them to be whever they are regardless of what the world thinks.
OK, then I misread your post. It just seemed so condescending.

One of the issues, and I do NOT understand this well so please bear with me, is the different goals that TGs have and this is further complicated by where they are along the gender continuum (if there is such a thing).

I'm not sure if you agree with this or not, but there is a standard joke floating around about the difference between a TS and a CD being several years. Yes, some CDs are latent TSs, but there are lots of CDs who identify as men who are also feminine, or they identify as bi-gendered, and they have no wish to take hormones nor do they wish to transition. There are some CDs who want to pass, and others for whom it is not a priority. They are quite happy being seen as a transperson, as long as they are respected. There are some CDs who look at the CDing as a fun hobby and who are OK with just floating around TG safe areas, while for others it is deeper. Most CDs just want to be taken seriously and of course they want to be safe. Blending in is also a way to minimize danger by staying outside of the transphobics' radars. There are even some (although rarer) CDs who just want to wear skirts and they are happy identifying as a guy in a dress.

I'm not sure what the situation is among TSs. I know that the goal for some is to go stealth, but I don't know whether this is desired in order to live peacefully in a biased society, or if going stealth fulfills the very deep need to finally have a body that matches the gender. It is either both, or it probably depends on the TS? Yet I know others for whom being taken consistently as a GG will not happen because of their physiognomy and the age at which they transitioned, and they have come to terms with not going stealth. They've developed a tough skin, they've forged on with their lives, and they don't care what others think.

So you see there is a vast array of motives and needs and a very wide spectrum in terms of the desired presentation. Not everyone wants to wear the latest fashion, and lots of others just want to wear mini-skirts, fishnets, and stilettos.