Hi Emma
I am impressed that you are handling this the right way after the world caved in for you. You have to get support as quickly as possible so you can get a handle on what this is really about instead of just thinking the worst and crying yourself into oblivion. So congrats.
Please be careful about reading other posts here. There is a wide spectrum of transgender expression and you should not think everything here is applicable to your partner. Always ask him to clarify what his dressing means to him and trust his answer.
Some words of wisdom. Please forgive him for hiding this from you. He did it out of shame and guilt. He did it because he thought he would lose you. He did it to prevent you from feeling the hurt you feel now. No matter how misguided you feel his decision was to hide it, he did what he thought was best. The last thing he wanted to do was hurt you.
Forgiveness is at the heart of love. Find a way to let go of your anger. Don't fall into the trap some women do of holding onto the anger and using the deception as a weapon and reason to reject their partner's feminine side. Don't go there.
You have the opportunity to build a deeper emotional bond with a man than is usually possible. But be warned that along the way you will discover that you will have to unlearn the rules about gender that you thought were written in stone. Your eyes will be opened and you will never see the world the same way again. You will find society is really just a mirage and you may find yourself rejecting parts of it. It can be scary venturing out of your comfort zone but remember you partner is scared too. He needs a hug just as much as you do.
