I realized something was wrong when I was about 5. I got scared of doing something about it at the same moment, because I knew difference isn't always so well accepted. I tried to deal with what I was and try to love it in my teen years. Also as an early teen, I was rather suicidal and didn't see myself living past the age of 18. When I broke out of this depression, and imagined my future adult self, I knew being female, even the butchiest female in the world, was just not going to work out. When I realized this, and when I realized that transitioning does not mean I think any less of women, I decided to do something about it. I was 17.
