Question

[sonia_dargency]

My Girl Inside does not really have a name, I took a username to blend in the forum since it's seems customary not to use one's real name.

Dressing makes me feel more myself and more relaxed, I don't become someone else.

Do me a favor: if you ever see Sonia talk about herself in the 3rd person, let me know...

[Hope]

Oh yeah - referring to oneself in the third person is something that has always driven me crazy, it doesn't matter if that third person is a female "persona" or if it is one's guy self - it is still disquieting.

[corynn]

Bethany

back in the day when I told you to refer your SO as her that Was only for her benefit.

because its hard on us CD'ers when sometimes we dont get the reassurance or love from our mate RE: our dressing
there is nothing worse than a mate saying to their mate that they do not want them to dress because.of various reasons

All excuses that have been told to me and that I had lived through in my life with Past S.O. (which gave me my name )

1."it makes me feel insecure."
2."you look pettier that dress than I would. "
3."when I need protection I.E. that a male will provide
when en femme I feel that you will not be able to protect me. "
4."you're way to sensitive while en femme mode. "
5." when you are replying to posts on CD.com remember you're talking to men that are en femme."

I guess certain CD'S refer to themselves in the third person
because to train themselves so that way they do not blow it when they're out in drab to go meandering through the womens section in a store and pick up a gorgeous pair jimmy choo heels OMG OMG OMG

and also referring to a whole different side of your mate that most people do not get too see on a daily basis.

Most Cders are way way way insecure is some shape or form about how they look. just like everyone in this World does
but more so for CD'S I know I am fairly insecure with things!

1.weight
2.not having adequate femme shape
3.my smile
4.makeup
5.and having so much more to learn about Dressing and building confidence level up as well

[Lorileah]

I didn't mean to confuse anyone! 0.o But I find all the answers interesting... and confusing still!!!

Lori doesn't think it is at all confusing. She has it all down and is very aware of how things are or should be.

I refer to myself as "we" all the time. Maybe a subconscious plot to reaffirm the fact that I am in actuality two people (maybe even three). I will use something like "Lori does this or that." when posting here to define that, as my feminine personality, I do act and often feel different than the male side. My male/female persona are really polar as far far interacting with the public goes. Many things carry over, but Lori is a lot happier and outgoing than that guy...but I just can't be rid of him. Damn Damn Damn Damn Damn...a second nature to me now, like breathing out...and breathing in...rather like a habit one can easily break and yet... I've grown accustomed to the trace...accustomed to his face

[dawnmarrie1961]

Bethany,

Some people just feel more comfortable living in a sub-division rather than owning the whole valley.

It might be livable but the view really sucks!


Be safe. Be smart. (Be one.)

Dawn Marrie

[Genifer Teal]

I'm guilty of doing this too. Nothing deep to read into it. If I'm telling a story and say Genifer did this or Genifer did that, it is probably because at the moment I am in boy mode. It is just a convenient and fun way of saying I was dressed as a girl. If I am dressed as a girl at the time I tell the story then I would just say I did this or I did that.


Gen

[Nigella23]

This is a great post, and one which highlights again how everyone is totally different and feels different dressed for different reasons. I only took the name because it seemed it was the done thing, would have used my own but thought it might have made my wife uncomfortable. I don't have a femme thing going, I'm just me, sometimes sporty, sometimes posh, occassionally sexy, flirty and dirty, but always, it's just me.

[PretzelGirl]

I think a lot of it comes down to whether someone feels that their second self is an entirely separate persona or just more of an opposite gender version of themselves.

I don't feel I project that myself. I think I am the same person dressed either way. Now I do feel I relax and be myself more when I am dressed. Or at a minimum, at least have a different set of inhibitions. But none of this has caused me to refer to myself in the third person (that I have noticed).

[AllieSF]

I am with Karren on this one. I am Allie when dressed, and me personality and character wise all the time. I only may occasionally refer to Allie when sending a message because it seems like less typing than saying that I will be going out dressed as a woman. There was a good Seinfeld episode about a guy who always referred to himself in the third person, funny and annoying at the same time.

[DiannaRose]

As a (would be) writer, I am very aware of point-of-view when I write. Notice I'm writing in the first person now, because...well...because...hmmm....just because, I guess.

I notice the times I tend to write about "Dianna" in the third person are times when I'm talking about both parts of me, the he and the she in the same line/paragraph/story/police report/etc. Guess it's just easier to keep the two parts in line that way.

It comes down to individual preference, comfort level, and...um...some third thing, I think, as you've seen from the many posts here.

Short answer is there's no answer, maybe.

But a fun question, B! Thanks for posing it!

[LaSirenaBella]

Speaking in the third person, in general, is a minor pet peeve for me, and I cringe when I catch myself referring to my femme self in the third person. It still happens every now and then, but I am Sirena and I am my male self. I tend to use "girl mode" vs. "boy mode."

[Rachel Morley]

Hi Bethany,

Personally, I never refer to myself in the third perosn. For me to do so would make me feel like my femme self is not integrated into me and instead is some other perosn who only visits from time to time.

I am always the same person. True, when fully dressed, it could be argued that my feminine characteristics are more obvious and perhaps even exaggerated but I like to think of my femininity as always being present, even without the clothes. It's simply expressed in different ways and to different degrees depending on the circumstances. When I am fully en femme, it's still me, I don't have two distinct identities. It's just my outward appearance that is different.

For example, it's not unusual for my wife to call me "Rach" to my face when I'm in boy mode and she enjoys the fact that there is no “third person” in our marriage.

[Sarah Doepner]

Since I am not out to the world, it does allow me to engage in "code talking" with my wife or others who know me. I try not to let it creep into my posts here, but I better read a few of them to see. Normally I think I try to say something like "I did suchandsuch as Sarah" rather than "Sarah did suchandsuch". The impact of the story is so much different if we don't clarify how we were presenting at the time. Here is the same story written different ways.

1- "I went into the auto parts store to get a new fuel pump for the chevy."

That doesn't generate the same kind of mental image as;

2- "Sarah went into the auto parts store to get a new fuel pump for the chevy."

Since you may not know who Sarah is, I suppose it could be rephrased as;

3- "I went, dressed as Sarah, to the auto parts store to get a new fuel pump for the chevy."

or maybe it would be better written as;

4- "After my makeover I slipped into a new pencil skirt, 4 inch slingback pumps, and deep vee neck sweater before going to the auto parts store to get a new fuel pump for the chevy, hoping one of the guys would carry it out for me so I wouldn't break a nail."

The question then, Why did I do that? I don't own a chevy.

[wanda jackson]

Wasn't there an episode of Seinfeld about a guy who always spoke of himself in 3rd person?

[Leslie Langford]

*does terrible English queen impression*
We are not amused. Now bring us some tea. Pip pip!

Joking. What I was told is that some people prefer to be in either male or female mode, not somewhere in between, so calling the mode they are not in at the moment in third person helps them keep the two sides separate. To each her own, right?

...when I am in "Leslie" mode, I feel like a Queen, so the Royal "We" and being referred to in the third person seems eminently appropriate at that time .

[eluuzion]

Wasn't there an episode of Seinfeld about a guy who always spoke of himself in 3rd person?

Yes, pretty halarious (when it is on a television comedy).

"Jimmy's gonna get you, Kramer! Hands off Jimmy! Don't touch Jimmy!"
(Jimmy, "The Jimmy," Seinfeld, 1995)

Illeism= the practice of referring to oneself in the third person.

IMO...
What was once a popular literary strategy now seems to be interpreted and/or described as disingenuous, out-of-place, annoying, pretentious, arrogant, pompous, presumptuous, weird, awkward and other unforgiving terms. (particularly in direct or "forum" discourse)

In psychology and psychiatric communities, it is often seen in discussions about dissociative disorders, narcissistic personality disorders, identity confusion, denial, deception, mental instability, etc.

My personal belief is that whatever truth, fact, excuse, justification or lack of involved in any discussion/debate on the issue, it will always involve some form of shifting, denying or minimizing the acknowledgement and/or acceptance of the person's responsibility for their actions or behavior.

IMO, it has similar reference to statements such as "I deserve to have a life too". A common comment by my ex-wife which meant of course, there was the "married" version of her...and the "single" version, which she ultimately proved she never left behind...but just "added" as an additional "person". (separating her from personal responsibility)...lol For me, when I got married, and had a child...it WAS my life, just like every day has been and will always be in the future. There is always only one "me", and I take responsibility for myself. Simple logic in my world....

Just a thought.

[msniki48]

Bethany,

This is a great topic. I think many of us do compartmentalize our 2 sides, as we either have not combined the 2 [ total acceptance and reaching equalibrium] and some of us have to compartmentalize due to work and family issues...[don't want to visibly be read as femm in guy mode] i tend to be the 2nd... i have to think about not showing femm affectations in my movements. this brings me to the writing. i tend to use niki in the 3rd person when writing to friends that know me as a guy... in here, however, it seems to bleed through, in my writing. i should be saying I or Me instead of niki...Here is where everyone knows Me , not Vince.

this really makes me think

thank you

[aggi123]

Bethany...

:angry:AGGI IS NOT PLEASED!!!!11!!1eleven!!!:angry: