There are lots and lots of theories about the reason and sexual connection for cross-dressing. After many months of experimenting dressing, sexual pleasuring while dressed and satisfaction for being able to be, feel and act as a girl, I am tempted to come to the following conclusion regarding this:
Deep inside us cross dressers, we want peace and freedom - thus the good feeling that we obtained while being a girl in a calm and subtle way while dressed. Other feelings such as erotic ones, lust and exaggeration is inherited by our higher level of testosterone, which by default is part of our genes and most commonly higher in quantity than in women. Now, I am talking from a straight cross dresser’s point of view, however; it’s these inherited genes that make us feel and therefore think that we crossdressers sometimes want to be embraced in a man’s arms and love and feel loved like a woman. That in my opinion is a result of testosterone.
To sum it up - I think the only way to get rid of these feelings (feelings such as erotic ones, lust and exaggeration) which sometimes ruins the whole experience is by educating our mind and body and by let them or allow them experiment the true female feelings by being present while dressed, be it at home or outside home. It is working for me - every Friday I am out and I am totally immersed in my female persona and I love it so much that the sexual urge diminishes and it is taken or overwhelmed by these other female sensations such as sweetness, delicacy, softness, compassion, girly behavior and love of colors, styles and all female trends. At these moments, if we feel sexual desire, it is not our female side, it is our male side that it is being blinded by the lust and desire to literally sexually take over the girl in you.
What is you experience?
Koka