Please bare with me, I am not the best in discussions but here goes

Quote Originally Posted by ReineD View Post
Hi Soriya, I'm not trying to be difficult, but that's my point exactly. So the wife is now married to only a part-time husband. This would create an imbalance in any relationship. The issue is not being attracted to a male vs. a female. It is about habitually being attracted to someone else outside the relationship. Of course, if the CD is single it is another story altogether.
Hi Reine. I would have to agree with Soriya about the part time husband part. I'm single and would never condone cheating (I hope thats the right word). But when I was with my first girlfriend, I think part of me was always emotionally unavailable to her and there was probably quite a lot missing from the relationship that would of been there if she was with a 'normal' person. It's something I am not proud of and I am really shameful/regretful that it happened, she did nothing to deserve that. At the time, I guess I only saw things one way. I guess it did not help that I did not understand much back then. What made me see this most of all was when I was in a later relationship and found that the person I was with was drifting away emotionally until I found out her heart was elsewhere. Emotionally cheating? It is such a horrible feeling to feel as if someone is not fully in the relationship, that anything is missing or that the person you are with would prefer you to be someone else, someone different. It's like a stab to the heart.

Maybe it is something that can be best seen when you experienced it yourself? It's too easy to get lost in your own little world.

I wonder though what the situation would be for a bi sexual person. If they were in a relationship with one sex, what happens to the attractions to the other side. Fantasies are one thing, but if they affect your current relationships then it stops becoming harmless.