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Thread: a fleeting moment of desire

  1. #1
    kaitlynn
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    a fleeting moment of desire

    A fleeting moment of desire
    More often than not, people long for attention. They have a yearning to be wanted, to feel sexy and desired. Society’s stigma is that for the most part only women are allowed this luxury. Most men, whether that admit it or not also strive to obtain that feeling. For certain men it comes to them when they Cross-dress. And that’s what I will be addressing for you today, the insight of why men would choose to dress and prance around as women.
    To fully understand why a man would want to pretend to be women, you must think outside the box. You have to look upon this if you would as if you’re a satellite looking down on earth. Every day when you step outside your house, get into your car, your surround with the beauty of women. The pretty sexy girl on the billboard that ever gender stops and admires. The sexy voice on the radio selling you the latest in electronics. Women are placed on a pedal stool and idolized. Men want them, women want to be them. Clothing is one of the biggest parts of being a cross dresser. Walk into any department store, ¾ of the store will be women’s clothes from shoes, to dressing attire, right down to the seductive lingerie. The other ¼ if you’re lucky will be men’s clothes, with limited everything. There is not much of a variety when it comes to men clothing, it’s your basic color spectrum with stripes or squares. A big thing for me is comfortable underwear, let’s face it. Men have 2 options that are accepted by society. Rough cotton boxer; black or white. I don’t even need to list the material options or the array of choices women have. The other day I was at work browsing through Peoples magazine in the break room. It was an older edition that came out around the Grammy time. Now in most magazines they do the whole who had the nicest dress attire. It was three pages worth of these lovely elegant gowns, each one completely different in its own way. The last page was of men. They had four major celebrities all in the tuxedos. You know what I saw… Four of the same tuxedo made by different designer’s, there were no differences, they might had well been a military uniform, standard issued. I was appalled and it furthermore encouraged my own cross dressing.
    So I’m sure you find yourself asking yes, this is all true but why would a man want all that? What you should be asking is why not. Would you like to live life everyday not knowing what lotions would make your skin even softer instead of so rough? Would you like to go through life with the same boring hair cut, instead of the cool style? Or how about be a high school boy with an acne problem or a facial blemish, and not be able to cover it up with make up like that girl with the same problem is able to. As men we are told that it is cool to have rough hands, it means you work hard, we don’t need clothes that feel soft on our body it makes us weak, we are not allowed to be afraid of that spider that is just a venomous to us as it is to women. Does any of that sound fair? But because we are men, we were born genetically into that sex, we take our roll and we deal with it. We are the bread winners, the hunters and the gathers, we protect the weaker ones. But for some of us when the day is done, we come home take a nice hot bath and slip into those soft nylons. Well put on a soft light silky dress after wearing those uncomfortable shirts and ties. We will apply the makeup that helps cover our tired and heavy eyes. We will wear hair that is long and soft and moves with the winds gentle breeze. And we will pretend that life is not what it is, it will be our escape to a life of pleasure. For a fleeting moment we will feel desired.

  2. #2
    Adventuress Kate Simmons's Avatar
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    I understand what you are saying but the key to the whole issue is the feelings that generate the desire to CD in the first place. The key to understanding ourselves is understanding those feelings, accepting them, making them our own and utilizing them to our advantage. In the process we may have to live the feelings in a very real way. Once we take ownership of those feelings we are no longer ashamed or afraid of them, things become equalized and we can always be ourselves regardless of appearance, presentation or mode. When it becomes a choice rather than a compulsion, we are truly being our own person. That is a truly beautiful thing.
    Second star to the right and straight on till morning

  3. #3
    Silver Member
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    This is kinda sad, really, because femininity has so very little to do with clothes, and there ARE nice pretty clothes available for men. It's true you have to look for them and you won't find many of them in Sears, but they are out there. Absolutely LOVELY male clothes are available.

    And femininity has so little to do with women's clothing that I don't know where to start. Women can be feminine in a sack, for goodness sake. Or, glory of all glories - NAKED! OMG, with NO clothes on what so ever. And there we are, just as feminine as can be.

    No, you are searching for something else here. You have every right to search, of course. But I fear it ain't femininity you are reaching for.

    Stephie

  4. #4
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    Quote Originally Posted by kaitysosexy View Post
    And that’s what I will be addressing for you today, the insight of why men would choose to dress and prance around as women.
    Damn, now I guess I have to learn how to prance. Yet another thing to add to the long list of things I can never get quite right.

    Not to be a dick (so to speak), but this kind of sounds like a speech to a rotary club or something. I think you're way of base, but what do I know.

    The whole, "Women have so much more choice in clothes," thing is kind of a red herring. When I was younger I always thought I'd use that if a girlfriend ever "discovered" me. But now in retrospect it just sounds like an excuse. And not a very honest one.

    Lots of words for a first post though. Kudos on that.

  5. #5
    XpoisonXgirlX Kayla Shadows's Avatar
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    Exactly like you said,why not.

    I and many others are just not ones to feel that we need to live up to what is expected of us.We dont have to be masculine all the time,we dont have to just buy mens clothes,we dont have to just do anything somebody who isnt us tells us to do.Those who break away from the norm and enjoy these freedoms are truly living.

    Some people that hate us dont even know anything about us.I dont think they are really that ignorant.Theyve just been lied to.A lot of people who arent transgendered feed things to others that dont know any better.Its just goes and goes and its one giant mass of bs.

    I know what you were saying with the ads and things catered to women.A lot out there is geared towards women.Why not enjoy what life has to offer.And,yep,women want to be them,men want them and some women want them too..and that is something that there is nothing wrong with.Be who are are and think for yourself.

    I've always been a big fan of the saying, "What's right isn't always popular; what's popular isn't always right."

    The 1/4 dedicated to men reminds me of SL
    Last edited by Kayla Shadows; 05-16-2010 at 05:27 PM.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  6. #6
    Gold Member Alice Torn's Avatar
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    Dittos!

    [SIZE="3"]Dittos. Bravo! I could not hzve said it better! Women are in demand, wanted, where men, are devalued, despised, not needed anymore! That is surely one reason i have dressed.[/SIZE]

  7. #7
    Complex Lolita...
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    Quote Originally Posted by kaitysosexy
    More often than not, people long for attention. They have a yearning to be wanted, to feel sexy and desired.
    [SIZE="2"]Long for attention? Yes. Yearn to be wanted? Yes. Feel sexy and desired? No…[/SIZE]

    Clothing is one of the biggest parts of being a cross dresser.
    [SIZE="2"] But it’s not everything. See below…[/SIZE]

    Quote Originally Posted by Kayla Shadows
    I and many others are just not ones to feel that we need to live up to what is expected of us.We dont have to be masculine all the time…
    Those who break away from the norm and enjoy these freedoms are truly living.
    [SIZE="2"]Amen to that![/SIZE]

  8. #8
    Transman Andy66's Avatar
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    OMG, Kaity. Take a breath and stop trying so hard. Welcome to the forums.

    ...and, um, what is a "pedal stool"?

  9. #9
    GG ReineD's Avatar
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    pedestal
    Reine

  10. #10
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    I'm seeking my own answers to this as well...

    Having only started in the last week or so, I haven't had time nor opportunity to soul search this desire in me, but some of you have hit on what I think may be driving me.

    Lately, with all the chaos in my life, I've had little to no time for myself. When I've donned the bra and sleeveless top, each time it almost felt like I was someone else, and perceived in a different way, one which brought attention to me, instead of everyone and everything else.

    This was almost like a vacation away from my stressed self.

    I'll have to look into this further.

  11. #11
    Member Karinsamatha's Avatar
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    When I started to cross dress it was a overwhelming flood of desire - I don't know if it was because of how long I repressed the urge. But it was not because of the clothes or other "nice and shiny" things. Since that time about 4 years ago I have been evolving from occasionally dressing, to dressing every night when I get home from work, and altering what I can to appear more feminine.
    What I am saying is that we all dress but we do it for different reasons. There is no "one size fits all" answer for this.
    :2c:
    A prisoner in a kings disguise - Styx

  12. #12
    Hot Geezer Girl docrobbysherry's Avatar
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    Kaity, u may be stepping AROUND the issues u mentioned!

    Lots of terrific insite in the posts that FOLLOWED yours, tho!

    As a man, it NEVER mattered HOW I dressed! I could'nt look good enuff to be noticed!
    But, Sherry gets NOTICED A LOT!:D
    That's NOT important for MANY CDs, but it IS for me! They're just trying to be themselves! But, I ENJOY pretending to be SOMEONE entirely DIFFERENT from me!

    Of course, if they made fake upper body biceps, etc., for men, maybe I could have! But, that's NOT acceptable for men!
    While it's PERFECTLY OK for women to wear;
    girdles, fake boobs and butts, all sorts of devices that enhance their figures!
    Well, I say, what's good for the goose, is good for the gander!

    NONE of this properly explains our motivation to dress in the first place! In my case, it never occurred to me to try it until I was 50+!:brolleyes:
    U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.

    Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!

  13. #13
    GG ReineD's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by docrobbysherry View Post
    While it's PERFECTLY OK for women to wear;
    girdles, fake boobs and butts, all sorts of devices that enhance their figures!
    No offense Doc, but here's a reality check ... most of us don't wear those things ... well, maybe a push-up bra. But the beautiful women who do get noticed a lot don't need those things.

    Quote Originally Posted by Treetop Louise View Post
    [SIZE="3"]Women are in demand, wanted, where men, are devalued, despised, not needed anymore![/SIZE]
    Not to be contrary, Louise, but women do not devalue or despise men. This may be the world's biggest secret, but a woman (if she is unattached) is always fully aware of all the cute guys that are around her. Who do you think she dresses for?
    Reine

  14. #14
    kaitlynn
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    hmm alot of good feed back, when i wrote that it wasnt so much to say this is why men cross dress and thats all, it was just to hit a few key things that to me alot of men say why they do it was a combination of reason. everyone has his different reason, the best answer to them all is there is no need to explain, i feel like u give an explanantion if you are wrong. there is nothing wrong with cding. the only thing wrong is people who think it is. i have cross dressed for many years now im only 21 but im passable and i love it. i love all the attention i get as kaitlynn, im a very active male but i get way more love as kaitlynn then i ever has a me. just some thoughts.

  15. #15
    New Member foofeyGG's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Treetop Louise View Post
    [SIZE="3"]Women are in demand, wanted, where men, are devalued, despised, not needed anymore![/SIZE]
    Huh? What planet are you living on?

    I think you need a hug.

    To clarify, I for one do not feel this way and I think I count. I VALUE, LOVE and NEED and WANT men, especially my SO. And to all my mens out there, my buddies, I LOVE YOU ALL!!! You are so needed! MY GOD, I'd be a mess without you.

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