Believe me, dear humans, I've been thinking about this since I first heard the term here. And I ran up against this question: Who else but a woman would want to dress as a woman full-time for the rest of her life?
Some of us seem perfectly happy to dress only occasionally, but others--like me--are apparently insatiable. I think it's because we are...well...women, pure and simple.
What do you think, my lovely friends and neighbors?
Lallie
Time for a change.
I think it's different for different people.
Each person has t find the path that's right for them.
No it's not.
Gretchen, would you care to amplify?
Time for a change.
I'm quite young, so I don't think I can relate nearly as much wisdom as some of the other members on this board, but I'll give it a shot.
There's more to transgendered identity than wanting to dress as a woman 24/7. I can't speak for everyone, but for me dressing isn't even a really big issue. With the exception of a few occasions, what I wear isn't a big factor on exploring my identity (I worry about my hair more than clothes, but that's a different matter all together...) Understanding is the big factor. I understand and accept my female side, and it's a lot bigger than a desire to dress like a woman. The understanding of your female side is going to be there whether you're in a t-shirt and boys jeans or a fancy gown. Trying to keep life and your dreams into the new world you're exploring is the real challenge with transsexuality, not how often you desire to dress like a woman.
Hope I didn't come across as offensive, I'm just trying to relate my own perspective on the issue.
Everyone's reasons can very on why they dress as you put it like a woman , but women do not want to dress as a woman (in our terms) all the times so it is not quite that simple.
Wanting to dress like a woman all the time does not make you a transsexual and the pink fog is more like a child being let loose in a toy shop more than a child wanting to be a toy .
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]Joanne
Wanting to look like a woman does not necessarily equate to wanting to be one.
Second star to the right and straight on till morning
Hi.
You may have female tendencies . & can dress as a female / woman yet really you need to grow as a woman & that is part of being a woman .& for many women itrs about giving birth . is that a part of your thinking how real is a woman ,
Its not about clothes make up shoes or even the look, need i say more .
If you are a female / woman you are born with that part of you that says , i am a female / woman , not i think i am . its i know i am . no doughts , no may be s no i think . i knew from age 10 on ,
Hence i live as one & have done for just over 12 years . thats about self acceptance & being accepted by others,
The first part of that may be so for some yet i know some men dress as a female / woman & there is nothing about them that says female or woman & the fact is they are not or ever will be women & when i have talked to them they are hard wired male they do not understand what a woman is or can relate to us who are women .
Iv had 50 years of trying to relate with men & that never worked , I understand some things about men, not relate in a way of being a male or man, ... as a man ...
Im a woman inspite of womens clothes they do not change me, im a woman regardless of any clothes no matter what they look like .
I wear them only because i like them & i id with women because i dont id with men ,
As a ?? some women dont dress as how we are percived as women on the grounds of . is this only western thinking or fashon, & when you look at some countys thier dress code is or was the same. ( gray green ). because they were told what to wear .
...noeleena...
It is a fair question, and while there are those who start down the TS path as members of the CD community, that is hardly the only path. There are lots of reasons for people to cross dress, though your question about those who want to do it full time is compelling.Originally Posted by LALady
The real truth is that there is no test or single thing anyone can point to that would define one as TS or not... So while your question IS interesting, and informative, and I think helpful, it is not... diagnostically useful.
And I bet it is enlightening for your particular journey.
"I don't mind living in a man's world, as long as I can be a woman in it." — Marilyn Monroe
Thank you all for your interesting comments. I recognize that males who wear women's clothes for fetishistic and/or recreational purposes are probably not TS; and that dressing in women's clothes is not the total thing for a TS person; but it seems likely to me that someone who dresses 24/7, or would like to, is female-identified, i.e. transsexual, whether pre-op, post-op or non-op.
But I could easily be wrong, as I have been so many times.
Lallie
Time for a change.
Good question ... I've been dressing fairly androgenously now for over 12 years (started hormones then) and now I don't even think of it as dressing like a woman. I pretty well have to wear a top (tee or cami) and then its shorts in this hot weather ...just like all the other girls out there ! I haven't "glammed" up since Xmas ,that is a dress and heels for a big night out. Make-up is very minimal ..if I remember ..again ..not so much in the summer . SO... I don't really get "dressed up" --just dressed
twitter : @ lindaesj
I'm with you there. If you need to dress 24/7 there's a very good chance you want to be a woman. I understand there are other answers but the probabilty is pretty good. Note that wanting to be one does not necessarily equate becoming one -many cd's just can't or don't want to face that fact.
I have to disagree with you on one point - years do not make wisdom! What you have said shows wisdom regardless of whether or not I am old enough to be your mother.
You are not offensive, you have a perspective that is perfectly valid and I am sure that I am not alone in appreciating that.
Check out this link if you are wondering about joining Safe Haven.
This above all: To thine own self be true, And it must follow, as the night the day, Thou canst not then be false to any
Galileo said "You cannot teach a man anything" and they accuse ME of being sexist :facepalm:
Never ascribe to malice that which can be easily explained by sheer stupidity
I can say that having lived through the process of transition life becomes NORMAL. There is NO excitment of to get dressed as a woman because you are a woman. You wear clothing that of which is NORMAL.
It is all NORMAL. You can see that I said NORMAL a few times and there is a reason I did that. Remember the old line "be careful what ya wish for"?
I can only say that what you dream about could become true and then all of a sudden VERY NORMAL.
Katie
I love to wear women's clothing and have sometimes done it at times when it is not prudent, but I don't want to be a woman. The pink fog hits but I'm not transexual, maybe transgendered.
Well personally it kinda comes and goes. As far as wanting to be dressed up. Like every morning when i'm on the bus to work and see the other girls it comes LOL. Maybe it's not quite like that but fairly close to it. I think i want to be a woman. But i'm very unclear on it. I do now realize that in order to know i have to be at a place where im willing to be rejected by everything. I know that with the roadblocks in my way currently i can't really answer myself honestly. Still working on that.
Here's a follow-up question: just how feminine is a woman?
The answer, of course, is which woman, and what does she feel like at the moment?
I don't have to be in a gown, stockings and stilettos all the time (almost never in fact), and there are many times when I completely lack the energy or desire to go beyond throwing on the kind of stretched-out schmatte and old shoes that women wear when they feel the same way.
The only difference is that I have to work a little harder to look like hell.
I guess this is my way of saying it's not about the clothes...it's about the clothes and everything else, and sometimes the clothes come last.
I'd take it, Kate! I'd sacrifice the thrill of fantasy for the humdrum of feeling at home in my body and my role. I hear your wistfulness, though, and I pay you the respect you've earned by walking the walk.
Last edited by Starling; 07-27-2010 at 12:11 AM. Reason: merge two posts
Time for a change.
i find that i dont wear any mens clothes any more.dont even own much either.im perfectly happy going the rest of my life in womans attire.i wear acrilique nails full time,and makeup every day.who knows maybe some day ill live full time as a woman.im not too far from it now.so maybe im a little bit transexual,but im not removing any of my bits.implants maybe someday,but for now im ok with who i am.
just a florida girly girl...................................what in the world can make this brown eyed girl turn blue(roxette)
For me, the Pink Fog is a state I've been in where my desire to dress overrides almost everything else in my life. I thought about it all day until the opportunity to dress arose. My interest in life and connection with others and career all were secondary to my desire to dress or fantasizing about being or looking like a woman. I would doubt this indicates transsexuality. I would assume there is something deeper going on in the latter case and what I'm talking about almost represents an addicted state. Don't know if this helps shed any light on the subject or not but I'm throwing it out there anyway.
You are not offensive at all, and you do not need to apologize for who you are.
I will whole heartedly agree with you that dressing does not need to be a significant part of a TS life, and that there is no excitement in it; that the TS life is about self understanding and to be understood and related to as female by others, to move socially in the world as female. For me that is really the heart of the thing, or at least that is a big part of the diagnostic criteria I use with myself.
Which is essentially what the OP is talking about. The OP asks about folks who "CD" 24/7. These are people who obviously wish to engage the world and be understood by others as female. They may or may not lack the self understanding, but seriously, who do they suppose they are fooling? Being TS is not some sort of exclusive club, and it dose not require surgery to join.
While I would never tell a girl she was TS, if I knew someone who undergoing their own little RLE w/o hormones I might wonder to myself.
"I don't mind living in a man's world, as long as I can be a woman in it." — Marilyn Monroe
Hello LA Woman!
Yes, we are transgendered, but no we are not women. Unlike women, I love to be with women, crave attention from women and admire women. I also (maybe I'm just a lesbian) love having sex with a woman. I also like being a man. I like doing manly things, eating cold pizza, turning wrenches, driving fast cars, and doing physical things. I would not want to change into a woman if I could. That said, I do every now and again want to wear womens clothes all day every day. The "pink fogs" hits and I buy several trendy outfits and wear them as much as I can get away with. So I say I'm transgendered, but definitely not a woman.
Charlie
Olivia, you may feel different in a few years. Once dressing no longer gave me erotic excitement but rather, profound comfort, it became clear to me that something more radical was going on in my life. But everyone's different!
Hope, thank you for contributing your expertise and clarifying the point I was making rather clumsily.
Time for a change.
Charlie, I see myself as a lesbian as well. Although, as I have said on another thread, if I were to undergo HRT and GRS, I might learn to understand why men appeal to most women.
Beyond that, there is nothing exclusively manly about any of the activities you mentioned, although men currently outnumber women in doing them. I see myself as essentially female, but I like to tinker and build things, and I like cars and airplanes and motorcycles. And so does my Aunt Flossie. (Well, that's a lie, I admit.)
What it boils down to is your root identity, Charlie, and if holding onto the male is in there, then I agree you are not TS.
Time for a change.
pink fog is not an indication of being a transexual.
You know a lot more than I do, Carol, but it started that way for me.
Time for a change.
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