Telling the SO, Bad Reaction, Giving up CD'ing

[Miss Misery]

Hi Michelle,

I know you are speaking from experience but there are some assumptions here that just aren't right.

People if they hide one thing they usually hide another.

Some people yes, other people no. That's just not fair to assume that if you hide being a CD then you're going to hide other stuff too.

I don't want people drawing their own conclusions after I die.

You will never know so what's the difference. We're all taking the big dirt nap eventually. Do you care if they're drawing conclusions about you right now (behind your back)?

the longer you have waited the harder it is for them to accept us.

I'd like to see that data. I doubt there's much of a relationship between the two.

You and I are the same age, Michelle, and I understand where your coming from with that part of your comment and wish you only the best in finding that someone special. My point is and has been that the whole CD/SO relationship, including tell/no tell and when/how, is so specific to each couple that it's nearly impossible to make one recommendation that will fit all situations. As someone trying to figure out how to make it work myself, I would love it if there was a secret recipe for success. It's just not so.

Reading your post, I really feel your anguish AND truly truly wish you the best!