I am really touched by your story Michelle. This is good news! My thoughts.... You still love her. She is now ready to accept and perhaps now understands many issues about you in ways you have not even thought of. Most important, it sounds like she still loves you. So I'm wondering why the talk about ending the divorce proceedings has not come up...yet. I understands that thing about growing apart and wanting different things. Been there done that with my now ex-wife. Now that I think back, it was more me growing apart from her then her growing apart from me. No, it was not the crossdressing issue. That in of itself was never a problem for us.
Well that was 5 years ago. Today I am in love with someone new. I will not let the same mistakes I made hurt the love I now have. But with that said, I still wonder if I had done some things differently, if I focused more on her would we, could we have made it work. I did love her and know she loved me too. I feel fortunate in that we are now friends...even after I hurt hurt deeply when I made the decision to move out and seek a new life. So to be honest, I regret many things I did emotionally to a very goo woman. To late to change it today and of course I don't want to change it. It's to late. I'm happy in love with someone that has taught me to be a better person, a better man. Michelle, slow down! Don't let this be you writing this 5 years later. Open up to her. Ask her if she wants to make it work. Tell her you still love her. With love, anything is possible if you want it to be.
I look at how your thoughts have changed since your last post about your wife. I have a strong feeling that she wants to make it work. Sure you can bot move on and find someone new. But love once deep in the heart, never completely goes away. So spend more good times with her. My guess and bet is neither of you want to end your close bond that now seems to have gotten even closer...or at least more open and honest.
I sincerely wish you luck and love my friend.